Friday, March 23, 2012

Let It Out

I spend way too much time on the internet, and way too much time on Facebook. I have a handful of friends who are funny and interesting who post topics that I've really enjoyed reading. I've met some awesome friends who are advocates for unwanted animals. Some new friends are anti-circumcision. Others are advocates for gay rights. Some friends are pro-south, and others are friends of friends. I have tried to mesh friends from different backgrounds and differing views because they all have valid points and interests. 

I love my friends. I love reading and discussing different subjects. At least, I did love it until a couple of my Facebook friends who post some interesting things got into it with each other.

I followed the entire conversation and saw when they started going off the rails. One friend (K) posted something and the other (M) took offense even though K wasn't talking to, or about, M. Then the one who felt offended said something about rethinking things, which to me implied that she was considering deleting the other person. My friend must have inferred the same thing because she unfriended the other person first. She said she didn't want to continue arguing with my other friend. 

I tried to be a mediator and suggested they both cool down but the damage was already done. Instead of letting this argument roll off their backs like water off ducks backs, they both took the extreme. I guess I can understand why she went ahead and deleted the other girl because she knew that the other girl was threatening to delete her. I just can't understand how two smart, funny and independent women can act like juveniles. 

My friend (K) who deleted the other one first hasn't made another peep about the other one on Facebook, but the other one (M) posted something making fun of my friend for 'unfriending' her. She posted something about 'someone on Facebook doesn't like me' but that's not true. K did like M but she began to believe that M was condescending. She didn't want to argue with her. K told me she didn't want to be the one causing trouble between M and me, and felt it was better to leave her alone. She said she didn't dislike, or hate her; she just didn't feel right arguing with my friend. (We're kin.)

From the very start I could see trouble because my friend K is very open minded and liberal and she has a very open heart. My friend M is jaded and disgusted with people she thinks are scamming the system. Oil and water, people. Oil and water. What saddens me is the fact that I've lost two of my most entertaining friends who I dearly loved conversing with and now, I feel, it's all about me.

I always thought I was the most contentious person on the planet. I could argue with a fence post if I thought it was wrong. Now I see it's a family streak and it's not only confined to one side of my family tree. It's on both sides! No wonder I'm so feisty and never back down from a good argument. The only difference I see is that one of the two people who were arguing with each other is a health care provider. You'd think that anyone who went to school to study psychology would be more open to another's point of view. You'd also think that they wouldn't smirk about losing a decent friend. I don't know. I guess everybody has more friends than I do because I cringe when I lose another friend. 

I don't always get along with my cousins, or my friends for that matter, but I certainly don't want to "banish them to the cornfield" (thanks Connie) just because we don't agree. It takes all kinds to make up the world. If we all got along and agreed it would be a very, very boring world.

I wish you all knew how it felt to lose every single friend you have and finally be alone and lonely. Then you would understand how important I think you all are. I wish you'd realize that everybody comes from different backgrounds and circumstances and will view things differently.

I might have been callous and insensitive to people if I had to deal with deadbeats and people with mental issues every day; or I might feel sympathy and understanding when someone has hit rock bottom and lost everything of value to them and are struggling to overcome their situation. Thank god I haven't lost everything and had to start over. Thank god I don't have to deal with certifiable nuts. There are plenty of 'free range' nuts around me already. If you can't feel compassion for people you consider lesser than yourself, you certainly can't understand or appreciate the struggles they go through. If you have to act like a thirteen year old girl when you disagree with someone, maybe you need to go back and review the thread that started this whole mess and reevaluate the situation.

If this offends you, go ahead and delete me, if you haven't already. If you want to act like an adult and admit that you both disappointed me, don't delete me. I like you both. Actually, I love you both, but I am too old for this crap and I hate, hate, hate it when friends argue.

M this started when you thought K said something to you about Obama. She was not talking to you. Read the thread. K, I wish you'd waited instead of deleting M but I can understand you were trying to take the gracious way out.

K contacted me and apologized for arguing with my cousin. M hasn't done anything except put another one of her 'cute' posts about, 'if you don't like it', blah, blah, blah.

Y'all have made me so sad.


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