Saturday, June 23, 2012

Things I Should of Said

When that guy called me "Bitch" instead of getting mad and calling him a "Bastard" I should have responded, "Bitch? ... I'm not your mother."

Don't you hate it when you miss an opportunity like that? I know I do. Sometimes it's taken me years to come up with a good response I should have used during an encounter. I wish I was quicker on my feet. I just forget that you always have to be on your toes and prepared for an attack at any time. 

I imagine there will be many more of those episodes in my life because I'm not the kind of person to stand around and take it when anyone starts belittling me. I hate bullies and I hate ignorant people that start name calling anyone just because they don't agree with them, especially men. 

Some men have those alpha male episodes where they pace around beating their chests saying, "Look at me! I am a man! You have to listen to me!" They become enraged at any woman who dares to stand up for themselves and say what they thing. If anyone disagrees with those alpha males, they can't handle it. They want to lash out and attack. They're very scary. I know because I've been at the receiving end of too many fights.

One time I was on Walnut Avenue at a red light getting ready to turn left into the old Walmart when the light changed to yellow and I didn't go. My car was unreliable and I wasn't about to floor it to turn into oncoming traffic so I waited on the light to turn green. A man got out of his car parked in the turning lane behind me and came up to my window and started yelling at me because I hadn't turned on yellow. He was irate. I could see a young child in his car which he had left sitting in the road with the door open. The crazy man actually got out of his car to confront me, leaving his little kid in the car! I couldn't believe it.

Another time the kids and I were at Walmart getting ready to leave when a man and his wife and kid walked out of the store pushing a shopping cart. The woman started putting her child in the car and the man pushed the buggy behind my car and jumped in the driver's seat. His thoughtlessness made me so mad that I got out of the car and pushed the buggy aside. I shot him a bird as I drove away.

The lanes were crowded and I had to go around the parking lot. I saw the man cutting across the parking lot towards me in a rage. His neck muscles were bulged out and his face was red. He wanted to come throttle me. I recognized the look. I maneuvered around and got out of the parking lot before he could reach the car. I couldn't imagine how the scene would have played out if he had reached me but one of us would have gone to jail. Probably him, for murder.

I have an ability to rub people the wrong way, especially if I think they are being thoughtless or inconsiderate. I usually let them know what I am thinking. That's how I got into it with some guy on Facebook who called me a bitch. I really should have taken it as a compliment. He couldn't fathom an open minded woman like me. 

I believed the teachers when they taught us that we were born in the land of the free, and the home of the brave. I think America's greatest gift and most sacred right is freedom of speech. I exercise my first amendment rights often. America is great because we have the freedom to express our opinions. I respect people's right to express their opinions even if I don't agree with them, but that doesn't mean I will keep my opinion to myself.

Everyone is born and experiences different things in their lives that made them the way they have become today. No two people, even twins, experience the world the same and has the same experiences and reactions as each other about everything. Some people never voice an opinion about anything so you never know what they are thinking. Some people never shut up and never try to hear anyone else's opinion. Some people get along with everyone and never have disagreements with anyone. Some people shoot off their mouth and say what they think. Guess which category I fall in. 

I heard of a Facebook group that's name implied they would be discussing local politics. I joined it because I thought it would be fun to learn information about candidates and how they stood on the issues and what their experience was, you know, things like that. I couldn't find any information about the group and soon realized it was a new listing on Facebook. The moderator who created the group had a few interesting posts from real candidates talking about the election and their backgrounds. It was a lovely idea and it would have been successful except for the moderator's constant derision of the president and name calling of his supporters.

I counted three insulting words he used to describe me. There may have been more. He started off referring to Obama supporters as "damn morons". When he started confronting me about my support he progressed to calling me a "fool". He sarcastically apologized to me before ultimately calling me a "bitch" because I wouldn't take a damn bag of groceries for a friend of mine who is in a pickle. 

He and a couple of his groupies had been deriding people who took welfare and saying how sorry they were because they didn't get out and earn their own money. They were whining about how hard they had it and shouldn't have to pay taxes for people who "sit on their ass and won't work".

I tried to tell them there were plenty of people that needed help. I told them about a friend who is pregnant. She and her husband are about lose their rental house because he lost his job. They've been living on unemployment but it was about to run out and he couldn't find a job. They have two kids. I asked the moderator who would be able to help them. He offered them a bag of groceries. I said the husband needed a job and they needed someplace to stay. They weren't starving, yet.

The moderator and someone else offered in jest to buy them groceries or even make "my kids" sandwiches for lunch. I reckon they thought I was talking about myself. I think they thought I was on welfare or something and wanted to denigrate me and act all superior. Every now and then the moderator would say something sort of like an apology but it didn't ring true. The moderator got so angry with me for not agreeing to take his pitiful bag of groceries he screamed, "Bitch ...I tried to help you! ... blah, blah, blah". Call me bitch again and I'll show you a real bitch. You wouldn't like me if you made me mad.

I run into people all the time who complain about the government wasting their tax dollars supporting people on welfare. Nobody must know anyone they care about who is sick, or homeless, or without a job. They keep preaching that love and compassion we are so famous for in the south and falling back on the old "they can go to a shelter or a church for help". That is a cop out. Nobody wants to ask for charity from a religious group they don't belong to. And why should churches be burdened with the extra burden of feeding and housing the people who have lost everything and are just looking for a break so they can get their lives back on track. Most churches can't afford to shoulder that responsibility.

Our tax dollars go to a lot more than welfare. They don't give us an option to opt out on federal taxes that go towards war. Why should we be able to refuse to pay taxes that go toward helping people who are really in need of it?

When my aunt's husband died and her children were little social security sent her a check for each child every month until they turned eighteen. Without that money she would have been broke and destitute. Their house insurance paid off the house but if it hadn't been for social security she wouldn't have been able to take care of her children. She didn't even have a job. She didn't learn to drive a car until after my uncle died. 

There are so many people that have hard times in their lives. You can't plan for an illness or a death. You have no control over the economy or losing your job. When someone is using social security or welfare, that is no reason to look down on them and judge them. If not for the grace of God we might all be there then you'd appreciate any help you could get.
I saw this on my Facebook message from Thursday and responded today.
I would like to add an addendum to the above:

      • Monitor:
        • Your turn. I don't actually know these ppl. So what do they need? Food, diapers?
        • Ma'am ppl are wanting to help. Please let me know what needs to be done?

      • 9 minutes ago
        • A house and a job. When you can come up with that, let me know.

      • Monitor:
        • Are you serious? After I was called everything in the book for trying to help you/them the first time?

      • about a minute ago
        • When the hell did I call YOU everything in the book? YOU called me a "DAMN MORON, a FOOL, and a BITCH"! Get off your high horse and go bale some hay. You are such a hypocrite and you KNOW you don't give a damn about anyone, much less my friends, so don't worry about it. I'll try to find them some REAL HELP and not depend on small minded people like YOU who keep putting people down who need help. XXX you are the same age as my son and if he talked to me like you have I would have backhanded him so hard his teeth would rattle. Too bad your mother didn't teach you better manners. Drop it and please don't contact me again.

          Wow... You have some hard life lessons ahead of you ma'am. I was trying to help. You can see that. If you ignore it then you are a fool. My mom is proud of the way I handled your situation. She is also proud I stand up for myself when someone like yourself tries to belittle me by acting like I think I'm better. Im not better, I know I'm not. If you knew, or would have listened to me you would know thus. Your high horse got you here. I'm fine with you being upset. I am upset with you. I feel I never had a chance with you. No matter what I said or did I wouldn't "care" in your book. I'm sorry that you were that closed minded. I'm not. I will never be. If you take government assistance so be it. I don't, that doesn't make me an evil arrogant fool. It just makes me Wes XXXXXX. I don't feel I'm better than you, I listen better, but I'm not better . if you'll got back and read thru the posts you'll see this. Good luck with your friend. I'm sorry I couldn't help. I really wanted to. Goodbye.
          2 seconds ago

          XXX if you LISTENED BETTER than me you would have known I am not and never have been on welfare or government assistance of any kind. You also didn't listen when I said PLEASE DO NOT CONTACT ME AGAIN. I'm sure your mother approved of everything you said. She raised you after all. When you called me a bitch I should have said "Bitch? ... I'm not your mother!"

  • Monitor:
    • You should have.* But then again that would have meant you were actually reading my comments.

  • a few seconds ago

    • No I had a knee jerk reaction to your obscene language. You have a lot to learn buddy, that is if you can get the wax out of your ears and the plank out of your eye. Go away. You've become annoying by now.
      •  you're a wonderful American. Have a swell afternoon.

        *Notice he agrees with me about his mother.  What a dummy.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 
I. I'd like to add, that the dude I was talking about had some health problems after this discussion and I was amazed to see his friends raising money for his medical expenses after all the crabbing they did about "needy people".

II. My cousins who received Social Security benefits when their father died in a tragic accident are now Republicans.

edit 10-19-2016 pbs

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