Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Old People II

Colt and I went to the local Subway's to get something to eat last weekend. He drove because I can't see well after dark. We went inside to order and while we were waiting on another customer to have his sandwich made we looked over the menu. I happened to mention that the boy who was making the sandwich must have been working there a long time because I'd seen him there often. I teased Colt and told him the boy was a 'sandwich artist.' Colt's first job was working for Subway's and he always referred to himself as a sandwich artist.

We watched two employees making sandwiches and finally paid and started to leave. When we got in the car. and Colt started driving away, he said, "I wish you'd quit doing that."

I said, "What are you talking about?" Colt said that I kept calling the person making our subs a guy and that "...she was a girl." Of course, I said, "Unt-uh! That was a guy. I know it was." Colt kept arguing with me that I was wrong. 

I told him I had wondered about the big one who looked 6 feet tall until I saw the boobies, but I knew the other one was a guy. I said "I've been up there a lot of times. I talk to him. It has to be a guy." I almost wanted to go back to check.

I thought about all the times I had been up there and probably said 'sir' or something like that. I was beginning to worry.

I said, "I might call Subway and ask who all is working tonight. I just have to figure out how to ask without sounding like a nut." Colt said they would probably say the person's name was "Chris, or Pat, or something like that." I burst out laughing as I imagined the character Pat on Saturday Night Live. Pat is an ambiguous character who leaves people scratching their heads trying to figure her/him out. I refer to people like that as shemales. Some people are androgynous mysteries who don't fit clearly in a category.

I'm still not convinced the person who waited on us was a girl. What do you do when you aren't sure what sex someone is? Do you refer to them as the sex (boy, girl, lady, sir) that you think they are, or do you watch yourself and try not to use any nouns? Colt said "Do like Crocodile Dundee and grab 'em." That made me hoot with laughter. Dundee, an Australian in New York, had grabbed the cross-dresser's crotch. Then he knew Gwendoline was a man. (Crocodile Dundee 1986)

Next time I go to Subway's I'm going to try to read the name tag of the guy who makes my sandwiches. If I've been calling him a boy and he's really a girl I'm going to feel pretty awkward next time I address her.

I get a kick out of hanging out with Colt and Scout. They are always embarrassed, or laugh at me for being an old fart and for some of my misperceptions. I don't mind. I do say some dumb things now and then. Sometimes I can't hear and I misunderstand people and repeat back some strange things I think someone has said to me. I can't see good when I'm driving at night so that's always good for a couple of laughs and I get frustrated easily. What's not to love?

This week Scout had to go to court for jury duty. His car has been quitting unexpectedly so he asked me to drive him each day. Monday he went to the courthouse and waited half a day but was dismissed before lunch. I picked him up and took him home. Today he went back to the courthouse again and they let him go early without choosing him for jury duty. If you aren't selected for jury duty you don't get paid so Scout wasted a couple of days sitting around for nothing. That's not good.

I didn't mind getting out and taking Scout to town early. I ran some errands and paid some bills. I haven't paid bills in person in so long that I didn't realize the cable company closed their office in Calhoun. Signs were pasted on the windows with information about going to Rome or Cartersville if we needed personal service. Rome is 40 miles away and Cartersville is even further away. I don't know my way around either one and I'm sure not running around looking for them. I came home and called the cable company and learned you can pay your account by check over the phone. Who'd of thought you could do that? I don't like paying bills digitally. It makes me nervous.

The reason I had to pay my cable bill over the phone was because I'd made a mistake with my bill. I found out I had recorded the check in my register but must not have written the check because the numbers were wrong. I couldn't have written the check. I've racked my brain trying to remember what happened. I think I must have mailed the bill but forgot to write the check and put it in the envelope. I thought I had already paid the bill. I hate doing that. I blame it on chaos.

I really need to learn to pay bills a full week in advance so they will have plenty of time to get there. The post office is closing smaller post offices across the country, laying people off, and considering closing on Saturdays and Sundays. Mail delivery is becoming slower. 

Snail mail is in less demand but I still don't trust giving my account numbers and other vital information to strangers, even when I make the call. I'd never give anybody I didn't know information if they called me asking questions. I'd worry about identity theft. I don't have enough money for us to spend, much less strangers.

I imagine it won't be long before we do all our business using computers. We have moved into another step along the evolutionary ladder from pen and paper to keyboards and the internet. We're as far removed from early cave drawings or indecipherable hieroglyphs and our modern technology as a paper plane is compared to a jet. 

I don't want to give up mail service, although I hate unsolicited mail. I get tons of things trying to sell us insurance, requesting donations and coupons out the wazoo. I drown in piles of it until I decide to purge everything and have a bonfire in the backyard. I'm ablaze with anticipation. I can feel a conflagration coming on. I've got tons of junk mail and a brush pile I need to burn. Oh boy! That should be fun and that will get rid of some of chaos.



  1. Dear Mom I would have sent you some money but I have already sealed the envelope.

    That's what you remided me of with the bill paying

  2. What? You wasn't buying my excuse? For shame,for shame. ((grin))


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