MAY

May the 4th be with you ...

I'm so glad it's finally May. April was a busy month for me. I had to go back for another mammogram and my gums got infected. Between worrying about my tests and my teeth, I have been very stressed. 

Besides all that, every time it rains we go on alert and Don pulls out the sump pump to put under the house. Water got up to the return duct under the house last time it rained and the pump quit working. He took it back and bought one that moves lots more water. 

Don and Scout dug a hole under the house today to put a bucket in for the sump pump. That way, we don't have to keep dragging the pump back in and out of the house. I bet it won't be long before we can test it because they're predicting more rain. I'm tired of all the flooding around here. It's got to stop. Doesn't it?

Don's been working six days a week lately. He stays tired and doesn't feel like doing a thing around here. Thankfully, the boys are here. Colt mowed the backyard for me today. I just didn't feel like doing it. I think my body is tired from oral surgery. Doctor Phil scraped my gums. 

I tell you, if I didn't have any crap going on I wouldn't have anything to talk about at all. It seems like it's always something. I guess that's the way it is for most people. Sometimes life seems to be going along just fine and everybody and everything seems to be doing well. Other times you can't turn around without hearing bad news and other people's troubles. I prefer the former, to the latter. It seems like when everybody is having trouble there's bad juju in the air or something. I'm always afraid I'm going to catch it. Or, bad lucky's going to notice me and land on my head, or something. I know. I have a whacky imagination sometimes and I tend to see patterns in things and wonder if I'm crazy or they're real!

I do have a healthy imagination. I needed one when I was growing up. I didn't have any brothers or sisters to play with me so I played by myself. You can see remnants of the inner-me when I start talking to myself in public. Usually I'm just reminding myself to stay focused and think of what I need to do like, "Don't forget to buy shampoo and dog food." or something like that, but sometimes I start talking out loud about things I'm thinking in my head and worry that someone might drop a net on me. You never know.

Today I called Home Depot to ask if they carried sump pump buckets. I was willing to race to the store to buy one if they did. The man who spoke to me told me they didn't carry them in the store, but I could buy them online. I said something about that being stupid. I didn't want to order one. I needed it right now. 

He kept referring to me as "sir". The first time he said it, I said, "ma'am" but he kept on talking. When he called me "sir" the second time I said, loudly and clearly, "I'm not a man. I'm a woman." He said "Oh, sorry." and I could hear a little titter as he said it. The old fool was laughing at me.

He asked another employee where I might find a bucket and they recommended the Tractor Supply. (Gee, thanks guys.) You'd think a home depot would carry all the supplies you need. If you sell sump pumps it wouldn't hurt you to also carry sump buckets so you don't have to send your customers to your competitors. Some people just kill me.

It's time to close this little ditty and get some rest. Like Forrest Gump said, "I'm tired. I think I'm rest now." Good night y'all.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Rachel, Steve, Connie, Maranda, Vivian, Nita, Junior, and Madison

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

RIP

Edwadene McAllister, Grampaw Carter, Ev Chastain

REMEMBER

Mother's Day, Armed Forces Day, Memorial Day

AS ALWAYS

PIO

I Feel Tense

For the last few weeks a lot has been going on around here. First, we lost our little dog Jack, and then Buddy got sick and we had to take him to the vet. One week Donny had to go to the doctor, and Buddy went the next day, then I went the day after that. On top of that, I had a mammogram that looked suspicious so I had to go back for another test on my boob. 

My blood pressure was a little high when I went to the doctor. It's never high. The doctor told me to come back for a consultation after my second mammogram. I was worried that he might tell me some bad news, although the technician said it only looked like a cyst. Instead, I had to have my blood pressure checked again. It was high, but not as much as my first doctors visit. They tested it again before I left and it was getting closer to normal. 

On my first visit with the doctor he told me that he had recommended a hysterectomy when I had been to him four years ago. I was dumbfounded because I didn't remember him saying that. I do remember him telling me that I should come back and he would put me on a pill to stop my menses and then he would put me on a hormone pill for menopause. 

I told him that I didn't want to go on hormones because my aunt had died from breast cancer and my momma and all her sisters had been told by Crick's doctor that they should never take hormones. Crick's doctor told them all to get a good mammogram and take care of themselves. I wasn't about to take hormones, if I could help it because of that.

I had avoided going to the doctor for four years because I didn't want to take medicine or be on pills. On the second visit, he was more concerned with my blood pressure than the mammogram and told me that it was okay, but I needed to have another mammogram in six months. 

I have to admit I was kind of pissed about coming back because of my blood pressure, especially when the doctor told me to keep taking "those pills I gave you". He hadn't given me any pills. When he told me he'd prescribed blood pressure pills, I began to wonder if he was the one losing his mind. He never gave me a prescription, or told me to take blood pressure pills. If he had, I would have told him I didn't want to take them anyway.

Donny takes blood pressure pills, and he has to go back twice a year for a new prescription, and for them to check his blood work. I know I may be wrong but I believe it's a big scam to keep getting money out of you. The only time my blood pressure goes up is when I get upset when I go to the dentist or doctor, or it's election time. 

I also went to Doctor Phil for my six months visit and he finally took the bonding off my front teeth. Now, when I smile, I have big gaps around my front teeth. He had to scrape the adhesive off and use a grinder to get it loose. It made my teeth sore again. I was warned not to eat apples or corn on the cob until they tightened up again. I'm sure that experience didn't help my blood pressure any.

I've been feeling like a rubber band wound tight on a balsam airplane, here lately. The presidential election is three weeks away and, depending on the outcome, I should be able to settle down and feel less uptight after that. Otherwise, I'll probably stroke out before the next election. I nearly blew a gasket when George Bush was president. I can't imagine how bad it will be if Romney wins. 

I can understand people who are stressed out because of Obama. That's how I felt when Bush was president but I hope President Obama wins a second term. I'm afraid the Republicans will destroy the social systems that help poor people. Despite their protests, most Republicans don't care about the needy.

Speaking of needy, and stress, it won't be long before it's Christmas. I hate the hustle and bustle of the people as they climb all over each other shopping for crap that most people don't want or really need. I've always thought that Christmas was too commercial. This year won't be any different.

If we can make it through the holidays, and December 21st, the day of doom on the Mayan calendar, we can look forward to another new year, with new hope for a better future. Let's all hope we get one.

Now, do you understand why I'm so tense?

AS ALWAYS

PIO