Merry Fricking Christmas

Guess what. I'm celebrating Christmas the only way I know how. I'm celebrating it alone on this quiet Christmas evening. It's been a long year and a lot has been going on. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing but it's been a long year anyway.

Me and the family celebrated in separate locations this year. That seems most appropriate, considering. I don't care really. At least we're all alive and healthy. That's a good thing. We're not all together and that's a bad thing. Maybe next year will be different. I don't know. I don't know anything any more. I used to think I knew everything. Now I don't know anything any more. Boy, time has a way of smacking you down. Doesn't it? 

The rain has  been pouring down and I'm in the middle of a flood zone. It looks like we're about to wash away. I don't care. Maybe we'll get to meet the neighbors that way.

I was hoping to see the full moon but that's not going to happen either.

Sometimes it feels like you're being betrayed by the ones you love and sometimes it seems like the only thing you can do is fight for your loved ones. This year, it's a two-fer. I guess that's all we can expect sometimes.

I have been jumping through hoops trying to take care of everybody and sometimes I forget to take care of myself. I don't know what to do. I guess I better take care of myself so I can be stronger and have a clear mind so I can take care of everybody else. 

I guess you figured out I'm feeling kind of sorry for myself this holiday season. I really shouldn't be because I've been through a lot worse in the past few years and I'm sure I can make it through this in the same way ... one step at a time and focusing on the future, whatever that may bring.

I really, really, really hate feeling sorry for myself. It's not one bit productive. I decided to take a cup of Christmas cheer and get through the holidays. Maybe that's why I'm feeling so maudlin. I don't like feeling vulnerable and I don't like feeling weak. I really, really shouldn't have had a cup of kindness this evening. Maybe I wouldn't be spilling my guts on the internet if I hadn't.

I only want to be happy and I only want my family to be happy. Is that too much to ask, I ask you? Seriously, I only want us all to be together and happy this holiday season. I'd settle for us all being happy. 

When you're feeling down face it with a frown. No, no! That's not it. 

Turn that frown upside down and face it with a grin. 

Yeah, yeah. That's it.

AS ALWAY

PIO

Meeting Alice

SURPRISE, SURPRISE!

Welcome to the world, little Alice! Isn't she incredible? She is my beautiful granddaughter. I told you I had a surprise. Now don't laugh but I think she looks like me. Just kidding. She's much, much better looking than me. Wouldn't you agree? 

We've been pretty busy this month, as you can imagine, jumping through hoops and taking care of business.

I hope you and your family have a wonderful, blessed December and get to spend plenty of time with your family and loved ones.

She's a little fighter. That's for sure.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Schylar, Katie, Scout, Amanda, Kiersten, Tony, Denise, Todd, Carmen, Andy, Noody, and Carole

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY
Diane and Larry

RIP
Albert T. Silvers, Edwadene McAllister, Delbert Callahan

REMEMBER

Be Nice To One Another
It's Christmas

AS ALWAYS
PIO

I Feel Tense

For the last few weeks a lot has been going on around here. First, we lost our little dog Jack, and then Buddy got sick and we had to take him to the vet. One week Donny had to go to the doctor, and Buddy went the next day, then I went the day after that. On top of that, I had a mammogram that looked suspicious so I had to go back for another test on my boob. 

My blood pressure was a little high when I went to the doctor. It's never high. The doctor told me to come back for a consultation after my second mammogram. I was worried that he might tell me some bad news, although the technician said it only looked like a cyst. Instead, I had to have my blood pressure checked again. It was high, but not as much as my first doctors visit. They tested it again before I left and it was getting closer to normal. 

On my first visit with the doctor he told me that he had recommended a hysterectomy when I had been to him four years ago. I was dumbfounded because I didn't remember him saying that. I do remember him telling me that I should come back and he would put me on a pill to stop my menses and then he would put me on a hormone pill for menopause. 

I told him that I didn't want to go on hormones because my aunt had died from breast cancer and my momma and all her sisters had been told by Crick's doctor that they should never take hormones. Crick's doctor told them all to get a good mammogram and take care of themselves. I wasn't about to take hormones, if I could help it because of that.

I had avoided going to the doctor for four years because I didn't want to take medicine or be on pills. On the second visit, he was more concerned with my blood pressure than the mammogram and told me that it was okay, but I needed to have another mammogram in six months. 

I have to admit I was kind of pissed about coming back because of my blood pressure, especially when the doctor told me to keep taking "those pills I gave you". He hadn't given me any pills. When he told me he'd prescribed blood pressure pills, I began to wonder if he was the one losing his mind. He never gave me a prescription, or told me to take blood pressure pills. If he had, I would have told him I didn't want to take them anyway.

Donny takes blood pressure pills, and he has to go back twice a year for a new prescription, and for them to check his blood work. I know I may be wrong but I believe it's a big scam to keep getting money out of you. The only time my blood pressure goes up is when I get upset when I go to the dentist or doctor, or it's election time. 

I also went to Doctor Phil for my six months visit and he finally took the bonding off my front teeth. Now, when I smile, I have big gaps around my front teeth. He had to scrape the adhesive off and use a grinder to get it loose. It made my teeth sore again. I was warned not to eat apples or corn on the cob until they tightened up again. I'm sure that experience didn't help my blood pressure any.

I've been feeling like a rubber band wound tight on a balsam airplane, here lately. The presidential election is three weeks away and, depending on the outcome, I should be able to settle down and feel less uptight after that. Otherwise, I'll probably stroke out before the next election. I nearly blew a gasket when George Bush was president. I can't imagine how bad it will be if Romney wins. 

I can understand people who are stressed out because of Obama. That's how I felt when Bush was president but I hope President Obama wins a second term. I'm afraid the Republicans will destroy the social systems that help poor people. Despite their protests, most Republicans don't care about the needy.

Speaking of needy, and stress, it won't be long before it's Christmas. I hate the hustle and bustle of the people as they climb all over each other shopping for crap that most people don't want or really need. I've always thought that Christmas was too commercial. This year won't be any different.

If we can make it through the holidays, and December 21st, the day of doom on the Mayan calendar, we can look forward to another new year, with new hope for a better future. Let's all hope we get one.

Now, do you understand why I'm so tense?

AS ALWAYS

PIO

Christmas 2011

A few days before Christmas a tornado tore through Gordon County and caused a lot of destruction. One community was hit hard. We had hard rains but we were lucky and didn't have any storm damage here.  

The weather was just the opposite of last year. This year at Christmas we had warm temperatures, plenty of rain, and a tornado. Last year we had an unprecedented (in my lifetime) snow storm on Christmas day. We didn't go to the yearly family dinner last year. I remember eating lots and lots of deviled eggs and potato salad we were supposed to take to the family dinner. Gads. 

This year Momma and I didn't plan anything because I was sick for a couple of weeks and she has bronchitis. Donny and Colt and I were hacking and coughing for a while but I think we are all finally on the mend. I hope nobody else catches what we had. 

The holidays always make me melancholy. I pine for the 'good old days' when the kids were little, or I was young. I don't know why nostalgia seems so sweet as I get older. I just didn't have the Christmas spirit this year. We didn't even put up a single ornament

We had our family get together at Donny's sister's house this year. It was a beautiful day. After the dinner we didn't start home until after dark. We had to drive through a blanket of fog all the way home. Visibility was limited. I asked Donny to drive through Dalton so I could see the Christmas decorations but it was so foggy the lights weren't impressive. It had a creepy, slasher-movie feel to the night.

It's so muddy around here that Colt's car got stuck when he was pulling out and he slung mud all over the white picket fence beside the house. Donny helped Colt clean the fence. Donny was determined to get some gravel.

We got some gravel for the driveway and since one load wasn't enough we got another load today. Yeah! No more slopping around in the mud when it rains. No more having to straddle the mud as I get the groceries out of the car in inclement weather.

Scout is going to borrow Bob's tractor this weekend to smooth down the gravel and spread it out evenly. I can hardly wait.

*****

By The Way my contest was a bust and nobody guessed correctly about my little quiz. Since my buddy Jerry White did respond he won by default. Colt delivered his award. I hope you like the peppers Jerry. Thanks for participating. 

AS ALWAYS

PIO

All About Christmas

My moma and her family didn't celebrate Christmas when they were growing up, partly because my grandparents belonged to a strict Christian religion that doesn't believe in celebrating Christmas and partly because they were poor. Gramma and Grampa had six little girls they tried to support on their two checks from the Crown Cotton Mill. Moma and her sisters talk often of the good times they shared when they were growing up.

Grampa was very strict and didn't allow them to put up any decorations or get any gifts for Christmas. Despite Grampa's decree Moma and her sisters wanted to celebrate like their friends and neighbors did. Moma said she always looked forward to seeing what her neighbor, Freddie Leroy, got for Christmas. She said Freddie had long beautiful curly hair and, for some strange reason, he always got a beautiful doll. He didn't like his dolls so he always let the Carter girls play with it.

One time the sisters decided to have a small cedar Christmas tree. They put the little tree in a coffee can with rocks in it to hold it up and decorated it with construction paper chains and white cotton balls. They hid the  tiny tree in the corner behind two doors that opened from two rooms that were never closed. Nobody would even think to look behind the two doors. They were so happy after their Christmas tree was decorated. Everyone was sworn to secrecy and everything went fine until Grampa got home.

When Grampa came in from work, tired and hungry, Jonnie Bell, the big mouth, ran up to him with utter delight and said, "Daddy! We have a Cheeta-Chee!" She was trying to say they had a 'cedar tree'. Poor Jonnie didn't realize that her great joy and excitement over their accomplishment would have dire consequences.

Grampa found the 'Cheeta-Chee' and quickly dispatched it out the door. That was the end of their Christmas that year.

Moma said she did remember Grampa buying them some presents a couple of times, though. She remembered one year that he got every girl a doll baby. Jonnie Bell didn't like her doll so she ended up getting Crick's dolly. Things weren't always fair when one child could cry so loud.

Although Moma and her sisters didn't get to celebrate Christmas, and Santa Claus never came to visit them, she never denied me a Christmas. Moma and Daddy always loved me and showered me with wonderful gifts for Christmas. Moma never actually told me that there was a Santa Claus but she never denied it either.

I loved Christmas when I was a kid. The Crown Cotton Mill gave out fruit baskets for Christmas. I only had eyes for the foot long 2" candy cane and all the candy bags of orange slices and chocolate drops. Since both sets of grandparents and my parents worked at the cotton mill there were plenty of goodies sitting around.

I remember some amazing Christmas's over the years. One of my favorite years I got a round wooden table with two matching captains chairs and a cooking set with little dishes and cake pans and mix. Moma and Daddy went back to bed and I mixed all my packages together playing with them. I didn't have anything to cook when Moma got up to help me. I also got an inexpensive set of finger puppets that looked like a barbershop quartet that year. I loved putting them on my fingers and singing with them and pretending like we were performing for a live audience. I had a big imagination when I was a kid.

Daddy and Moma built a house when I was seven years old. Daddy was working with the crew who was building it but they worked on it in their spare time. After he came in from work building someone else's house he would go down to the new house we were building and he would work on things he could do by himself to get it ready to move into. That was the year I asked Santa for a pony.

Every day Daddy would come home late from work and sit down to eat and rest for the day. He was stiff and sore and usually in a foul mood. I thought he was always late because he was working on the new house. I didn't know that he was really breaking a pony for me. He was trying to break it in by Christmas so I could ride it.

The pony was a beautiful black and white pony with a long beautiful mane and tail. Daddy bought a beautiful black studded saddle and bridle to match. The pony was beautiful when it was saddled up. The only problem was, it wasn't broke! The pony was willful and uncooperative. I didn't have any riding experience and I was terrified of the evil, biting and bucking beast. That was a bad idea! Daddy ended up swapping my mean little pony for a brown and white pinto that was supposed to be good with kids. I guess the magic wore off with the first little pony because Trigger and I never bonded like we should have. I was always afraid of him and he knew it. He would roll his eyes at me and I cringed in fear. He was a reminder of my stupidity and the fact that you don't always need what you want.

Moma hid my presents for years and never would answer me when I asked her to tell me if Santa Claus was real. By the time they finally broke the news to me I was in middle school. I remember that Christmas being the one that I got a pretty navy colored sailor's raincoat with white piping. I loved it, until the seams started coming apart and it basically disintegrated on me. I think I also got a crappy watch but I am notorious for killing watches. I think I am too electric, or something. Maybe that's what I Sing the Body Electric means.

I've never been comfortable with swapping gifts and I resent wasting money on crap that nobody really wants or needs. I'll be honest. I'm a Scrooge. When my boys were little I never taught them that Santa Claus was coming to bring them gifts. I felt it makes much more sense knowing that Moma and Daddy are playing Santa, not some fat stranger dressed in a red suit. I didn't want to lie to my kids. I think if you lie to them about Santa, and the Easter Bunny, and then tell them about Jesus, how are they going to swallow that? They might think everything is a lie. Maybe it's just me. I hate being lied to. I know some mothers used Santa as a threat to keep their kids in line. I laughed and watched their kids fearful looks. Whatever. I told the boys not to step on other people's beliefs, but there really wasn't a Santa Claus. They always got everything they ever wanted or needed so they were okay with that.

Every Christmas we enjoy lighting up our yard. We had a Christmas tree in front of the house we decorated, too. We have done this for years. A few years ago I found out that Colt had been telling a friend of his that rode the bus with him that we were Jewish! When the young man came out here he mentioned something about us being Jewish. Huh? Come again.  Colt thought it was hilarious that he had been scamming his friend Justin for years about us being Jewish. I asked Colt why he did that . He said that if Justin was too dumb know we weren't Jewish since we put up Christmas decorations every year he wasn't going to tell him any difference. What a guy! Who knew? We're Jewish. mazel tov!

I love Christmas. I love watching the Charlie Brown Christmas on the TV and, who doesn't love, It's a Wonderful Life? I love Christmas lights and holiday tunes. I love being with family and friends. I just don't love shopping for presents. I don't care if you say Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas, but wouldn't it be more honest if merchants changed their greeting to Come on in Suckers. Christmas is a marketing gimmick that has been going on for about a hundred years. The best part of Christmas is the decorations, if you ask me.

Now that my boys are grown I like to give them the gift that keeps on giving. You can fold it, you can break it, you can save it, or you can use it all up. No! It is not a gift card. A pox upon gift cards, too. I like GREEN. Who doesn't like green? If we must swap gifts lets put a limit (say $25MOL?) and if you swap gifts give gifts of equal value, all green. Wa-Laa! Now buy what YOU want, yourself. Scout says that doesn't sound like a very good gift. Probably because he'd be breaking even, unlike he usually does. Hey, maybe I am Jewish. Who knew?

I don't think Jesus came into the world to help merchants sell various merchandise to people who can't afford it for people who don't need it. But that's just me.

Oh, and did you ever notice that you can scramble the letters in Santa around and they spell Satan? How do you like that? Creepy, huh?

AS ALWAYS

PIO

A Spicy Hot Christmas



Look at all the lovely peppers that we grew this year. We got tons of peppers off of just a few plants. After we picked the peppers, I dried them in the dehydrator.

I crushed the peppers with the help of my food processor and then put them in the freezer until time to use them.

Guess what everyone is getting for Christmas this year. Humm? Can't guess? Well, come on by and get your packet of peppers, if you aren't afraid to try them.

This is the year of the pepper! Woo-Hoo! Yeah, buddy, they sure are hot. That should warm your old heart.

I like using my peppers on top of spagetti or in soup or chili. Since I have way more peppers than we can ever eat I am going to pass these out at our family get-together and share them with all the Strickland's, or anyone else who will have them. Yall watch out!

See all the peppers. There are red cayanne peppers and seeds, and green cayanne peppers and seeds, and red hot banana peppers, and green hot banana peppers all ground up and ready to be packed.

I had to buy a new dehydrator recently so I also bought a jerky kit, too. We can add our peppers to the beef jerky when I start trying to do that.

Oh yeah, while I was trying to ground up the peppers and put them in little packs, I started sneezing my head off. Did you know that ALL peppers cause you to sneeze? That is so funny. I couldn't talk for all the sneezing. I PROMISE I didn't sneeze on the peppers. LOL

Gracious Gratitude

I've never forgotten my Christmas present when I was five years old and I especially never forgot the lesson I learned the hard way. As a little kid I don't remember many specific details. I think my consciousness was sort of napping until my id awoke. That's the psychoanalytical source of psychic energy. I guess it is my way of saying that if it were not for this specific incident I would probably have forgotten what I had gotten when I was five but fortunately for that Christmas I had gotten a beautiful bright blue bicycle and had my first road trip.

Daddy bought me a 24" bike but, to my diminutive stature, it appeared huge. Daddy chose an expensive bike and he told me that he got it for me so that I could take care of it and never need another bike in my life. Woe! That was a big responsibility to a little girl but I was delighted. He had even put training wheels on the bicycle and left them barely not touching on either side so that the bike could be ridden by experienced riders like himself.

We lived in a rental house on Dug Gap Road in Dalton, Georgia. His parents lived about two miles down the road from us. Daddy's sister lived between us and their parents house along the way. The weather was nice for Christmas day and Daddy suggested that we ride my bike down to my grandparents house. He said that he would ride on the seat and steer for me and I could pedal so that my legs could start getting strong so I could ride my new bike. I thought that was a fine idea. After a while I saw that I had been duped but that didn't matter, we still traveled on. Sometimes Daddy would give me a break and let me rest from pedaling. I was growing exhausted by the time we got to the old Dug Gap store and stopped to rest. My aunt lived in one of the houses next to the store and we stopped in to visit and get warm before we traveled on.

My aunt had her house all decorated for Christmas and had a big cedar tree in the living room sitting on her polished wooden floor. I remember she always had a Victorian painting of a woman posing for her picture. I asked her who the beautiful lady in the picture was and she said it was a portrait of herself when she was young. I frowned at this statement but never thought to doubt her. I just thought they didn't look the same to me. Hmm.

Vivian was a big joker so I never knew when to take her seriously. Sometimes she was called Ben, too, so that's what I usually called her. Her son had tried to call her Vivian when he was little and it had come out as Ben and it had stuck. She was all the time teasing us kids and she was teasing me that day about giving me a Christmas present if I was nice. I had to beg her for my gift. She pulled out a present all wrapped in gay wrapping paper.

I tore into it and unwrapped something knitted. I unfolded it and saw that I had gotten an ugly pair of red slipper socks with stripes on them. I must not have looked pleased because Ben asked me if I liked the socks and I said "No. They're ugly."

I must have hurt her feelings but when you're five years old you only notice your own feelings and my feelings were hurt. I don't know why I didn't like the socks but I thought they were a dumb gift. Vivian said, "In that case then I'll give them to Stevie or Eddie. They'll like them." Stevie and Eddie were my younger cousins and Ben's nephews.

I didn't want her to give my present away so I said "No, I'll take them." to which she replied, "Too late, little girl. You'll learn to say 'thank you' next time." She put the gift back in the pile for somebody else and I ended up with nothing. At first I thought she was kidding but she wasn't kidding this time.

The moral of this story is sort of obvious but it was one lesson I learned awfully young. Too bad a few more people haven't met up with their own Aunt Ben and learned to be gracious and say 'thanks' no matter what the gift is. It's not the present that counts, it's the thought.

I never did get a gift from Ben that year and I never did complain about anything she gave me after that. Lesson learned, Daddy and I continued on to Beulah and Paw Paw's house, but the climax of the day had already happened. The ride back home felt a lot longer.

AS ALWAYS PIO