MAY

May the 4th be with you ...

I'm so glad it's finally May. April was a busy month for me. I had to go back for another mammogram and my gums got infected. Between worrying about my tests and my teeth, I have been very stressed. 

Besides all that, every time it rains we go on alert and Don pulls out the sump pump to put under the house. Water got up to the return duct under the house last time it rained and the pump quit working. He took it back and bought one that moves lots more water. 

Don and Scout dug a hole under the house today to put a bucket in for the sump pump. That way, we don't have to keep dragging the pump back in and out of the house. I bet it won't be long before we can test it because they're predicting more rain. I'm tired of all the flooding around here. It's got to stop. Doesn't it?

Don's been working six days a week lately. He stays tired and doesn't feel like doing a thing around here. Thankfully, the boys are here. Colt mowed the backyard for me today. I just didn't feel like doing it. I think my body is tired from oral surgery. Doctor Phil scraped my gums. 

I tell you, if I didn't have any crap going on I wouldn't have anything to talk about at all. It seems like it's always something. I guess that's the way it is for most people. Sometimes life seems to be going along just fine and everybody and everything seems to be doing well. Other times you can't turn around without hearing bad news and other people's troubles. I prefer the former, to the latter. It seems like when everybody is having trouble there's bad juju in the air or something. I'm always afraid I'm going to catch it. Or, bad lucky's going to notice me and land on my head, or something. I know. I have a whacky imagination sometimes and I tend to see patterns in things and wonder if I'm crazy or they're real!

I do have a healthy imagination. I needed one when I was growing up. I didn't have any brothers or sisters to play with me so I played by myself. You can see remnants of the inner-me when I start talking to myself in public. Usually I'm just reminding myself to stay focused and think of what I need to do like, "Don't forget to buy shampoo and dog food." or something like that, but sometimes I start talking out loud about things I'm thinking in my head and worry that someone might drop a net on me. You never know.

Today I called Home Depot to ask if they carried sump pump buckets. I was willing to race to the store to buy one if they did. The man who spoke to me told me they didn't carry them in the store, but I could buy them online. I said something about that being stupid. I didn't want to order one. I needed it right now. 

He kept referring to me as "sir". The first time he said it, I said, "ma'am" but he kept on talking. When he called me "sir" the second time I said, loudly and clearly, "I'm not a man. I'm a woman." He said "Oh, sorry." and I could hear a little titter as he said it. The old fool was laughing at me.

He asked another employee where I might find a bucket and they recommended the Tractor Supply. (Gee, thanks guys.) You'd think a home depot would carry all the supplies you need. If you sell sump pumps it wouldn't hurt you to also carry sump buckets so you don't have to send your customers to your competitors. Some people just kill me.

It's time to close this little ditty and get some rest. Like Forrest Gump said, "I'm tired. I think I'm rest now." Good night y'all.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Rachel, Steve, Connie, Maranda, Vivian, Nita, Junior, and Madison

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

RIP

Edwadene McAllister, Grampaw Carter, Ev Chastain

REMEMBER

Mother's Day, Armed Forces Day, Memorial Day

AS ALWAYS

PIO

Redneck Engineering

I told you that we had so much water running under the house that we had to put a sump pump under the house when it rained hard didn't I? Our old sump pump quit working so Don bought a new one. It wouldn't fit under the house where the old one was so Don put it under the house through the hole in the hallway. It's not attractive, and we can't shut the doors because the hose has to run outside to drain the water, but it's better than nothing. Don cut the hole in the hall floor a while back so he wouldn't have to crawl all the way under the house. The crawlspace is very small and claustrophobic. We've done lots of things around here that aren't particularly kosher. This is just one small example of our handy work.

                                     

The hose had to run from the hallway, through the living room, and out the front door.

Notice the black hose is attached to another white hose to make it long enough for the water to drain into the front yard.

All covered up and back to "normal", whatever that is, around here. Watch the soft spot!

I know this looks really, really redneck but you gotta do what you gotta do to get by and this is the only way to get the house dried back out. Don's going to dig a hole and put a bucket under the house for the sump pump to sit in. Hopefully we will be able to figure out how to get the pipe to run under the house and maybe next time we won't have to leave the front door open when it rains and floods. Now you know why I hate it when it rains.

We've already decided to build up the flower beds in front of the house to keep the water from running under the house. We have to put up new guttering, too. If that doesn't work, I don't know what we're going to do.

We took the old guttering down when the guys put our metal roof on the house a few years ago. Whereas most people feel inconvenienced by the rain, we live in dread. We have always had to deal with flooding when it rains too hard, but when the roof started leaking it ramped up the fear. We put buckets under the drips, hoping it would quit raining until we got the new roof on. You don't know how thankful you can feel when it rains and you have a new roof. It will make you smile. I didn't mind the rain after that until recently.

Ever since we got the gravel in our driveway last year, when it rains, the water funnels towards the house. It has become a mess. The situation became obvious when we could see a brown muddy residue after the rains running down the side of the graveled driveway. It's also running over the grease trap in the front yard. That clogs up the kitchen sink. Oy! What a mess.

We get all our neighbors runoff when it rains. This has been a running battle ever since we bought the house. We bought it during a drought and it was high and dry. Right after that the rain gods, or the fickle finger of fate, or whatever you want to call it, decided to switch tactics and the drought broke. It would rain so long and flood so badly, it felt like we were living on a boat. Water surrounded the house.

After we moved here Don's stepfather, Charlie McAllister, helped us level the yard and make the runoff turn away from the house. Charlie used to be a bulldozer operator and he knew what he was doing. The problem is, our property is a couple of feet lower than the property next to us. Every time it rains water runs down the ditch between our property and we take on water. I'll be glad when we finally figure out a solution.

I just wish we could afford to move somewhere high and dry. I'm tired of living in a dry riverbed. 

AS ALWAYS

PIO