Musings

Mamma's beginning to feel better. We've started arguing and getting on each other's nerves. That's a good sign. My main gripe is that's she's too independent and stubborn and won't listen to me. 

Mamma's sister, Mary Jane, came to visit last week and Mamma and Mary Jane have already taken off two times in the car alone. Both times I tried to tell Mamma she shouldn't drive but she wouldn't listen. She can barely walk from room to room. She shouldn't  be driving. When they came back, she admitted she nearly had an accident.

I asked her nurse practitioner if Mamma should be driving yet. She said she thought Mamma should wait until they get her medicine adjusted. Mamma still has home health care and a physical therapist come every week. 

I'm glad May Johnson agreed with me because my little mamma is a daredevil and can scare the bejesus out of you. She turned in front of a car when Katie and I were both with her one day and Katie won't ride with her any more. I can't blame her.

I've been consumed with taking care of Mamma and have barely focused on my life although that's not what some people think. 

Anybody that knows me knows I like to make lists and keep track of things. I've noticed that whenever I'm in a crisis I forget to keep track of my days. That drives me crazy. I like to know what day I did something or when I paid a bill. Stuff like that. I am so far behind I will never fill in those blank days I spent during and after the hospital. Those days are lost to me in a fog.

I do have some more good news to report. I've been monitoring my blood glucose religiously and have begun to get a handle on it. Most days my blood sugar is in the low 100's, which is good but I haven't been exercising and I really feel that! I miss it so much. It really helps relieve stress. 

While I have been staying with Mamma, I have been mowing her yard and trying to get some exercise. I don't consider that much exercise when you're on a riding lawnmower but it's better than nothing. I figure the jiggling is shaking some fat off. Right?

Everybody says I'm not around as much as I should be but I'd like to know how much more around I need to be. I've been there every day and most nights since Mamma was in the hospital and I have languished away waiting to do my mother's bidding when she needed something to eat or assistance with anything. Mostly, I've sat around watching her work circle word puzzles.

I think people have forgotten, just because I don't work, that I have things I need to do. 

Nobody considers that my old dog is stuck in the house all day alone, with the poor old bird stuck in a cage, or Buddy is outside huddled on the porch waiting for somebody to come home and let him inside. 

Nobody considers the goat we've got that needs tending to and watched so it can roam free and eat bushes and weeds in the backyard without being attacked by Buddy. He can't be trusted.

Just because I'm an anomaly doesn't mean I don't have a life. It just looks different than yours.

I didn't even notice the dogwoods in bloom because I've been so preoccupied with other things. Spring is really here and I barely noticed. I hate that because spring is the most beautiful time of the year. The azaleas are blooming, too.

I don't think we will have but one more cold snap this year, blackberry winter. I could be wrong.

I don't mean to complain because I am very thankful for my life and everything going on in it. I am tickled to death Mamma is getting better and wants to do things for herself and doesn't need constant supervision. I am grateful for my boys who pick up the slack whenever I'm away. 

Colt and Donny jump right in and make sure they have clean clothes and something to eat. That's a blessing and one more thing I don't have to worry about. I could have ended up with someone like my Daddy who never cooked a meal in his life, as far as I know.

I am thrilled to be a mother-in-law and a granny. Scout picked a winner when he married Katie. She's been a great support to us all.

Katie is starting a new job and, by default, I am starting a new one, too. I am responsible for seeing that Bennett gets off the bus safely every afternoon when Katie isn't home. We bond over chocolate pudding and reading books. He is my best little buddy.  I only hope I'm not a bad influence on him. (Don't ask)

I'm going to get my hopes up again and look forward to a better summer than last year. I hope we are able to plant a garden and keep the goat out of it. I really, really would like a break for a while. I'm tired, already.

AS ALWAYS

PIO

JANUARY

I was diagnosed with hyperglycemia and sent to a clinic this year. They taught me how to regulate my diet and take care of myself. It seems, diabetics should pay close attention to their eyesight, and their feet, among other things. One speaker told us to take off our shoes and socks when we go to the doctor to let them inspect our feet. 

I had to see the nurse practitioner the other day for a pre-op visit so I peeled off my shoes and cooled my hot feet on the cool linoleum. I told her I have a problem with cracked toes and was worried because they were sore. She checked my feet and asked me if I felt her touch. "Yes! Yes, I did." "Good. You're alright." She recommended an ointment for my toes. Good deal.

I am trying to cut out all the sweets and breads I used to eat and keep my blood sugar under control. Donny and I have been walking at the Church of God across the street.

Since October I have lost about twenty pounds. My pants nearly fall off. I've taken to wearing belts and not overloading my pockets so my pants don't droop. I haven't been dieting. I've just been trying to stay away from the foods I used to eat before I found out I was diabetic. 

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My mind is all over the place. I'm unable to focus and haven't felt like spilling all the beans on my blog. Nobody wants to hear, "My life is so hard." blah, blah, blah. Everybody has problems, some far, far worse than mine. I don't want to exude fake exuberance and pretend like life is peachy keen, either. "Santa brought me a pony!" although he did one time. But that's another story.

This has been a hard year for everybody, my family included. Things have settled down a little and I don't like rocking the boat. I just hope things keep on improving but it doesn't really look that way.

Don and I went shopping for a flat screen TV and I nearly had a breakdown when I realized I didn't have a hundred dollars I thought I had put in my wallet. I kept going over everything in my mind and really believe I saw the money in my billfold while we were at the house. I just don't know. Either way, I have to let go of that little dream. I hate when I get mixed up about money. It makes me crazy. I guess that's another one of those "old fart" moments.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Rhonda, Amanda, Evelyn, Ann, Frankie, Lisa, Angie, Sue, Norma, Joey, Donna, Valerie, Angela, Jacob, Bennett, Mika, Brenda, and Teresa

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

Donny and Pam

RIP

Roy Burchfield, Jimmy Hutson, Sam Burchfield, Vivian Shoates, Lela Smith, Beulah Burchfield, and Roger Rowland

HAPPY NEW YEAR

AS ALWAYS

PIO

Roller Coaster

Lots of things have been going on since Daddy had to go to the emergency room a few weeks ago. He ended up staying in the hospital all week. He was passing blood and they couldn't get it to stop. On Friday they ran a camera up his urethra and looked around. The urologist called after surgery and told me nothing looked cancerous, but the bleeding was at the prostate. He didn't know why. They sent Daddy home after that. 

That was a strange week. The hospital was almost like wandering through a rabbit hole. They are remodeling and adding on a wing or something and there are places partitioned off and you practically need a map to navigate the halls. 

Mama and I went with Daddy to surgery and it was like walking through a maze. A nurse showed us an exit that came out near the emergency room, close to the elevators when they took Daddy into surgery.  We would have never found our way back to Daddy's room the way we came. Mama and I made our way back to the room to wait for him to get out of surgery. 

They finally wheeled Daddy back to the room loaded up on morphine. Daddy said it really hurt. He has a narrow urethra which made it more difficult. I hope he doesn't have to go through that again.

I was afraid Mama wasn't going to make it. She had a hard time getting around the hospital because of bronchitis. Daddy made them get Mama a wheelchair so she wouldn't have to walk down the halls. She couldn't have made it on her own. She had to stop and rest every little bit. Whenever she has trouble breathing I am afraid blood clots are in her lungs again. 

When we came to the hospital to visit Daddy she wouldn't let me find her a wheelchair to ride in. She walked all the way. Daddy fussed at her. He said they had volunteers who just loved to push people around when they couldn't walk on their own. 

Mama is stubborn. So is Daddy. And you wonder where I get it from.

I offered to mow the yard Thursday but they didn't want me to mow that day. I told Daddy to call me and let me know if he wants the yard mowed anytime. He's getting over a surgical procedure and shouldn't push himself. They had to sedate him. Daddy had finally stopped bleeding when they let him go home but he got a wild hair and decided to mow the yard that Saturday. He  started bleeding again. 

I don't know what it is about men, or people in general, but they do some of the dumbest things. One time my grandfather had back surgery to fix his discs. It felt so good, he decided he could plow the garden not long after surgery. By the time he got off the tractor he had messed his back up so bad he had back pain for the rest of his life. I tried to help Daddy avoid the same mistake.

Daddy decided to try mowing the yard again a couple of weeks later. He only rode for a little while before he allowed Mama to finish mowing. He started bleeding as bad as he did when he went to the emergency room. Fortunately, he had an appointment with his urologist the next day. The urologist didn't want to do anything else until Daddy healed from the laparoscopy surgery.

I told you Daddy is stubborn. Maybe he will finally listen to me and let me know when he wants the yard mowed.

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In other news, Colt's not working with Scout anymore. He missed a couple of Monday's and Bob took it upon himself to let Colt go. I got Colt to write a letter explaining he had missed those days because he was working on his final Capstone project and had to work on it and meet teachers and other students to work on it on days that they were available. I thought Bob knew Colt had a very important semester and his classwork came first. Colt wasn't laying out. Scout never did give the letter to Bob.

Bob told Colt he needed someone full time and said Colt wasn't fulfilling his needs. Scout said that Bob never fires anyone and his excuse didn't make any sense. 

Scout doesn't even work 40 hours a week. He's lucky if he gets to work four full days a week and half a day on Friday. Forget it if it rains unless they are lucky enough to be building a barn or something. 

Scout is considered "self employed". He doesn't have any benefits. That is why I think it is so important for everyone to have health care in America. His job is dangerous and demanding. Lots of men couldn't handle working with their hands and back all day. More than one person has quit working for Bob after they found out how hard the job really is.

Scout said the new guy Bob replaced Colt with wasn't doing very good. He said the boy couldn't hammer and just piddled around, wasting time. It looks like Bob didn't get such a bargain after all.

Scout and Colt's friend, Allan, is also working for Bob. One day Scout said they had been working all day long and Allan said he had to stop and get something to eat because he was feeling sick. Bob brushed them off and said they had a couple more trailers to get up first. They were baling hay.

Allan has severe diabetes and has gone into a coma several times. Allan went to the truck and found a honey bun to eat. Scout was very upset with Bob for ignoring Allan and not giving them a lunch break. Allan wasn't able to work on Friday because he was sick.

Allan had to go to two hospitals over the weekend because of his sugar diabetes. Since Allan hasn't been working long, and he doesn't have any insurance, he can't afford his insulin. Allan is a young man. He's the same age as Scout. Every time his body goes into a coma it damages his organs. It makes me furious because people like Allan have to do without insulin to help them control their diabetes through no fault of their own. 

I can't understand how anybody would turn their backs on people who don't have insurance, or any money for health care. There's something wrong with a country that thinks it's okay as long as they get theirs but to hell with other people because they don't "deserve" health care. It especially makes me mad to think that our elected politicians feel that way.

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Autumn leaves are falling and the light isn't quite as bright. I'm sorry to see another summer ending but I'm excited to see what lies ahead. 

AS ALWAYS

PIO