Musings

Mamma's beginning to feel better. We've started arguing and getting on each other's nerves. That's a good sign. My main gripe is that's she's too independent and stubborn and won't listen to me. 

Mamma's sister, Mary Jane, came to visit last week and Mamma and Mary Jane have already taken off two times in the car alone. Both times I tried to tell Mamma she shouldn't drive but she wouldn't listen. She can barely walk from room to room. She shouldn't  be driving. When they came back, she admitted she nearly had an accident.

I asked her nurse practitioner if Mamma should be driving yet. She said she thought Mamma should wait until they get her medicine adjusted. Mamma still has home health care and a physical therapist come every week. 

I'm glad May Johnson agreed with me because my little mamma is a daredevil and can scare the bejesus out of you. She turned in front of a car when Katie and I were both with her one day and Katie won't ride with her any more. I can't blame her.

I've been consumed with taking care of Mamma and have barely focused on my life although that's not what some people think. 

Anybody that knows me knows I like to make lists and keep track of things. I've noticed that whenever I'm in a crisis I forget to keep track of my days. That drives me crazy. I like to know what day I did something or when I paid a bill. Stuff like that. I am so far behind I will never fill in those blank days I spent during and after the hospital. Those days are lost to me in a fog.

I do have some more good news to report. I've been monitoring my blood glucose religiously and have begun to get a handle on it. Most days my blood sugar is in the low 100's, which is good but I haven't been exercising and I really feel that! I miss it so much. It really helps relieve stress. 

While I have been staying with Mamma, I have been mowing her yard and trying to get some exercise. I don't consider that much exercise when you're on a riding lawnmower but it's better than nothing. I figure the jiggling is shaking some fat off. Right?

Everybody says I'm not around as much as I should be but I'd like to know how much more around I need to be. I've been there every day and most nights since Mamma was in the hospital and I have languished away waiting to do my mother's bidding when she needed something to eat or assistance with anything. Mostly, I've sat around watching her work circle word puzzles.

I think people have forgotten, just because I don't work, that I have things I need to do. 

Nobody considers that my old dog is stuck in the house all day alone, with the poor old bird stuck in a cage, or Buddy is outside huddled on the porch waiting for somebody to come home and let him inside. 

Nobody considers the goat we've got that needs tending to and watched so it can roam free and eat bushes and weeds in the backyard without being attacked by Buddy. He can't be trusted.

Just because I'm an anomaly doesn't mean I don't have a life. It just looks different than yours.

I didn't even notice the dogwoods in bloom because I've been so preoccupied with other things. Spring is really here and I barely noticed. I hate that because spring is the most beautiful time of the year. The azaleas are blooming, too.

I don't think we will have but one more cold snap this year, blackberry winter. I could be wrong.

I don't mean to complain because I am very thankful for my life and everything going on in it. I am tickled to death Mamma is getting better and wants to do things for herself and doesn't need constant supervision. I am grateful for my boys who pick up the slack whenever I'm away. 

Colt and Donny jump right in and make sure they have clean clothes and something to eat. That's a blessing and one more thing I don't have to worry about. I could have ended up with someone like my Daddy who never cooked a meal in his life, as far as I know.

I am thrilled to be a mother-in-law and a granny. Scout picked a winner when he married Katie. She's been a great support to us all.

Katie is starting a new job and, by default, I am starting a new one, too. I am responsible for seeing that Bennett gets off the bus safely every afternoon when Katie isn't home. We bond over chocolate pudding and reading books. He is my best little buddy.  I only hope I'm not a bad influence on him. (Don't ask)

I'm going to get my hopes up again and look forward to a better summer than last year. I hope we are able to plant a garden and keep the goat out of it. I really, really would like a break for a while. I'm tired, already.

AS ALWAYS

PIO