That's supposed to be the sound of a drum doing a "rim shot".
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Maybe I should have started with a joke. I think the silence is deafening. I can hear you breathe and can see people stop by but I get no feedback. I'm talking to you, people, but I get nothing. Am I amusing? Am I boring? I don't know. Do you love me, or, do you hate me? Come on. Say something. If you're going to read my stuff, I would like you to become a follower of Resaca Rose. I've twisted everybody's arm I can, so now it's up to you.
Well, I'm done with the begging so I've decided to emulate my late, great website ALEMAP and mix it up a little. Pardon me, if I'm a little rusty, but it's been a while.
AND NOW TIME FOR THE JOKES :
How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest? They Take The Psycho Path
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.
Old is when your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
What happens when frogs park illegally? They get toad.
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
Old is when getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese
Old is when an all nighter means not getting up to use the bathroom.
Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks.
Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism.
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs"?
What did the rug say to the floor? Don't move, I've got you covered.
Why can't you tell blondes knock knock jokes? Because they go answer the door.
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
God has a sense of humor. Don't believe me? Go to Wal-Mart and just look at people.
A Dubliner proposes to his girlfriend on Saint Patrick's Day and gives her a ring with a synthetic diamond. "You cheap bum!" she yells. "This isn't even real."
"I know." he says. "but in honor of Saint Patrick, I though I'd buy you a sham rock."
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Well, enough of that.
And now for continuing news . . .
Springtime has arrived in the Piedmont. Yellow jonquils and forsythias and white Bradford pear trees are blooming everywhere. Spring has arrived. Just remember we still have a few more weeks of cold spells and we're not through with winter yet until the Easter cold snap and blackberry winter finally arrives.
People tell you that life goes in circles and you can't see that when you are young, but when you are older you start to see cycles in your life and realize that it is true.
Over the years I have had many friends but they have all fell by the wayside for one reason or another. Some people moved away and I lost touch with them. Some people's lives led them in different directions. Some people left for unknown reasons. Some people told me why they didn't want to be my friend.
Recenty two old friends contacted me and started roping me into going out with them and having dinner and a movie. Since Melissa and I haven't hung around since our first marriages, it has been a long time. Melissa is the same old sweet girl I remember from long ago. She has strong core values and an indestructible spirit that has sustained her and nourished her over the years. She has thrived and been an example to others in her day to day life as a school teacher. I can imagine Melissa's enthusiasm as she teaches children and leads them on a journey of learning in life. She's had to made an indelible imprint on many young minds. I admire Melissa's dedication.
My friend Debbie has stayed in touch with me over the years. We may not see each other often but we can pick up the phone and call each other and it feels like we never missed a beat. Debbie was always my closest confidant and willing accomplice. We go way back.
I've had more people stop being my friend than becoming my friend. I have given up on ever being close to anyone again. I certainly don't expect them to be around forever. I guess Daddy was right when he used to tell me, "You don't have any friends." When I would name my good friends he would say, "They aren't real friends." I never could convince him that I had any friends.
One friend, Peg* kept gossiping about another former friend, Joy* so much that I finally decided to break off our friendship. I figured if she was going to talk about my friend who quit being my friend then she was probably gossiping about me to all her other friends, too. I had enough stress in my life and I didn't want everyone she knew to hear gossip about me. Even though my former friend Joy wasn't speaking to me I didn't believe the things that my friend Peg was telling me about my former friend.
I've become less and less comfortable around people because of all the people that dropped me like a hot potato. That is why it is so hard for me to be comfortable socializing with my friends. I am a homebody. I don't like getting out, like I used to do when I was young.
My closest friends are my sons Scout and Colt. I think of some of their friends as my friends, too. I've even informed Allen and Jason that they can be my pall bearers when I die. That's when Allen said something about just dragging me out to the woods and burying me, as in Edgewood's insurance. When Colt was young. I gave him my instructions for when I got old. I told him just to take me out to the woods and pour honey all over me and leave me there for the bears. That's when he said, "Come on, Moma, let's go." I told him I meant "WHEN I WAS OLD" and he said, "Yeah, come on." (Butthead)
My former friend Joy dropped by unexpectedly after Christmas a couple of years ago. We hadn't seen each other for about 14 years. She stopped by to tell me that she and her husband Stan were getting a divorce and that she had missed me so she came by to visit. She came a total of three times. After that I never heard another word from her. Even though she is an airhead I never could believe the things my other friend had been saying about her. She had always been honest and straight forward and she didn't seem to be crazy. Boy, I could have told her a few things.
I don't hate anyone who doesn't want to be my friend. I don't understand them but I don't hate them either. I wish everybody who was a friend of mine a long and happy life. I don't have to be a part of their lives and they certainly don't have to be a part of my life. I have lived without them for this long so it won't hurt me if they go on with their lives without me.
I don't expect anything more than what you can give. If you can give a part of yourself and want to share a part of me that is okay. But, if you find that I am still intolerable, that is okay, too.
AS ALWAYS
PIO
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*Aliases were used.
