MARCH

I know it's March and I know I'm getting later and later every month so don't be hating. I've been busy doing things. Yeah, that's it. I've been busy. Like today, Scout came by and helped dig up the grease trap to see what was wrong with it. 

The sink and dishwasher haven't been draining for a while. For the past three days I was flushing out the drain pipe with the water hose but the water still wasn't draining fast enough. When Scout dug up the ground around the grease trap he found the concrete pipe was broken. He finally repaired it and now everything is okey-dokey again. No wonder everything has been a mess around here.

I developed leg spasms and was so sore I could barely walk after sitting over the pipe for three days. The only bright spot was the surprise I got when I looked down between my legs one day and saw a frog staring up at me from the mud. He was probably thankful for the puddle of water accumulating over his bed. Poor thing. He didn't realize he was living in a toxic waste dump.

You should have seen the chunks of grease that I flushed out of the line. Gross! I hope I didn't grease up the little frog too bad. Maybe it will moisturize his skin. 

Poor old Don has been working seven days a week and never has time to take care of the things he usually has to do around here. He's nursing a cold right now. He's probably just run down because he never gets any rest.

Don's better off than his brother in law, Noody, is though because he got burned by a brush fire and had to go to the burn unit in Atlanta. Ouch!

I went to the doctor with Momma the other day. I'm glad we went because Momma was telling the nurse about eating collard greens to thin her blood and the nurse told her that her blood was too thick already, not too thin, and she needed to quit eating greens. They thicken the blood.

I don't know what's worse, being sick or not knowing what the heck you're doing and making things worse. We went to the Oakwood Cafe afterwards and had chicken livers. 

Donny and I got to eat at the Oakwood Cafe with Colt and Meredith and her family for dinner last week, too. We got to see Baby Alice She is such a sweet baby. We are so lucky. 

I made a road trip to Acworth last weekend to see my cousin Debbie. She is one of my favorite cousins. After tax season we're going to Character's Famous BBQ and check it out. I can hardly wait. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Heather, Jami, Dana, Mike, Mary Jane, Johnathon, Jason, Alex, Patsy, Sunshine

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

RIP

Jerry White, Debbie Chitwood, Crick Marshall, Mary Bell Carter, Evelyn Chastain, and Lela Smith

REMEMBER
Daylight Saving Time, St Patrick's Day, Spring, Palm Sunday, Easter

AS ALWAYS

PIO

Memories

Donny and I were driving down highway 41 through Dalton the other week. We passed the old Coca Cola bottling plant and the bowling alley. I saw the little yellow brick building that used to be the State Patrol Station. I wonder how many people remember that. On up the street was a store standing where my favorite store used to be. Wood's Store used to be there. I always get nostalgic when I go by that place, even though the old building had been torn down long ago.


I told Donny about my favorite memory of going to Mr. Wood's store. Pawpaw took me and my cousins, Randy and Mike, to the store many times. We all lived near Pawpaw and he was a good and generous grampa who bought us plenty of candy and soft drinks. It was always a treat to go anyplace with our grandparents.


One time my cousins were all together so Pawpaw took us all to the store. Randy, Debbie, Stevie, Eddie, me, and probably Mike went to the store. I'm not sure Donna was with us. We all rode in the back of his old cattle truck. I remember how much fun we had riding along with the wind whipping around us as we all laughed and jockeyed around the back of the truck. We lived several miles from the store so we felt like we were on an adventure.


It's a wonder we didn't fall, or push someone out. Nowadays somebody would call the law on you for having a truckload of young ones, but when I was growing up kids must have had more sense because we rode in truck beds all the time.


When we got to Mr. Wood's, Pawpaw told us all we could get one drink apiece and some candy. We all swarmed over the sides of the truck and into the dingy little store. Woods' was unique because you had to walk into the store through an aisle with low tables lining each side filled with every kind of candy you could imagine. It was kid-friendly and heavenly. 


While Pawpaw went on into the store and talked to Mr. Woods we were squealing and arguing over which candy was the best and what we were going to pick. Pawpaw got a coke and propped up against the counter bragging about all his grandkids. He was telling the old coots that liked to hang out at the store who we were and who our parents were. Pawpaw acted tickled to death to bring us all to the store. 


After Pawpaw paid for our purchases we all climbed back in the back of the truck to wait. Pawpaw stood around smoking with the old men from the store and after they finished their conversation he took us home. 


What more perfect memory than that wonderful time that Pawpaw took us all to Mr. Wood's grocery store? 


I have to be honest. I don't remember if it said Woods on the store or Wood's so bear with me if you can remember and know the difference. 

As Always

PIO

Girls Night Out

It seems funny calling it a girl's night out when we're all in the grandmother stage of life, but Debbie and Melissa and I enjoyed a delicious and pleasant night out at the local Great Wall Chinese restaurant in Calhoun Georgia. 

We swapped stories and stuffed ourselves to the gills. Well, I did, at least. I never watch other people eat so I can't say about them. I learned that lesson when the boys were growing up. If I watched Scout eat I would get upset and ruin the meal for everyone. Scout salts his salt when he is eating something. Instead of griping about it I finally decided to ignore it. Hence, the reason I don't watch people eat.

The blonde, the brunette, and the redhead.


Debbie and Melissa and I went to the Wal-mart in Calhoun and I showed them a couple of routes down there and back. We rushed around until we located a pillow sham Melissa was looking for and then we came back to my humble home.

 This is a picture of my dogwoods in the front yard. We have two white dogwoods we got out of the woods and two pink ones that I bought at separate times. One is light pink and one is bright pink.

I hope we will be able to go on a picnic sometime when we plan our girl's-get-together. Melissa will have more time after she retires from teaching and tax season is over. I'm starting to have fun. (Shhh . . . . don't tell anybody!)

*************************************************************************
Girl's night out's not like it was in the old days.

PIO

Da-Dumb-Dum

That's supposed to be the sound of a drum doing a "rim shot".
********************************************************************
Maybe I should have started with a joke. I think the silence is deafening. I can hear you breathe and can see people stop by but I get no feedback. I'm talking to you, people, but I get nothing. Am I amusing? Am I boring? I don't know. Do you love me, or, do you hate me? Come on. Say something. If you're going to read my stuff, I would like you to become a follower of Resaca Rose. I've twisted everybody's arm I can, so now it's up to you.

Well, I'm done with the begging so I've decided to emulate my late, great website ALEMAP and mix it up a little. Pardon me, if I'm a little rusty, but it's been a while.

AND  NOW  TIME  FOR  THE  JOKES :

How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest? They Take The Psycho Path

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

Old is when your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

What happens when frogs park illegally? They get toad.

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

Old is when getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese

Old is when an all nighter means not getting up to use the bathroom.

Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks.

Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism.

Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs"?

What did the rug say to the floor? Don't move, I've got you covered.

Why can't you tell blondes knock knock jokes? Because they go answer the door.

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

God has a sense of humor. Don't believe me? Go to Wal-Mart and just look at people.

A Dubliner proposes to his girlfriend on Saint Patrick's Day and gives her a ring with a synthetic diamond. "You cheap bum!" she yells. "This isn't even real."
"I know." he says. "but in honor of Saint Patrick, I though I'd buy you a sham rock."
*******************************************************************
Well, enough of that.

And now for continuing news . . . 

Springtime has arrived in the Piedmont. Yellow jonquils and forsythias and white Bradford pear trees are blooming everywhere. Spring has arrived. Just remember we still have a few more weeks of cold spells and we're not through with winter yet until the Easter cold snap and blackberry winter finally arrives.

People tell you that life goes in circles and you can't see that when you are young, but when you are older you start to see cycles in your life and realize that it is true.

Over the years I have had many friends but they have all fell by the wayside for one reason or another. Some people moved away and I lost touch with them. Some people's lives led them in different directions. Some people left for unknown reasons. Some people told me why they didn't want to be my friend. 

Recenty two old friends contacted me and started roping me into going out with them and having dinner and a movie. Since Melissa and I haven't hung around since our first marriages, it has been a long time. Melissa is the same old sweet girl I remember from long ago. She has strong core values and an indestructible spirit that has sustained her and nourished her over the years. She has thrived and been an example to others in her day to day life as a school teacher. I can imagine Melissa's enthusiasm as she teaches children and leads them on a journey of learning in life. She's had to made an indelible imprint on many young minds. I admire Melissa's dedication.

My friend Debbie has stayed in touch with me over the years. We may not see each other often but we can pick up the phone and call each other and it feels like we never missed a beat. Debbie was always my closest confidant and willing accomplice. We go way back.

I've had more people stop being my friend than becoming my friend. I have given up on ever being close to anyone again. I certainly don't expect them to be around forever. I guess Daddy was right when he used to tell me, "You don't have any friends." When I would name my good friends he would say, "They aren't real friends." I never could convince him that I had any friends.

One friend, Peg* kept gossiping about another former friend, Joy* so much that I finally decided to break off our friendship. I figured if she was going to talk about my friend who quit being my friend then she was probably gossiping about me to all her other friends, too. I had enough stress in my life and I didn't want everyone she knew to hear gossip about me. Even though my former friend Joy wasn't speaking to me I didn't believe the things that my friend Peg was telling me about my former friend.

I've become less and less comfortable around people because of all the people that dropped me like a hot potato. That is why it is so hard for me to be comfortable socializing with my friends. I am a homebody. I don't like getting out, like I used to do when I was young.

My closest friends are my sons Scout and Colt. I think of some of their friends as my friends, too. I've even informed Allen and Jason that they can be my pall bearers when I die. That's when Allen said something about just dragging me out to the woods and burying me, as in Edgewood's insurance. When Colt was young. I gave him my instructions for when I got old. I told him just to take me out to the woods and pour honey all over me and leave me there for the bears. That's when he said, "Come on, Moma, let's go." I told him I meant "WHEN I WAS OLD" and he said, "Yeah, come on." (Butthead)

My former friend Joy dropped by unexpectedly after Christmas a couple of years ago. We hadn't seen each other for about 14 years. She stopped by to tell me that she and her husband Stan were getting a divorce and that she had missed me so she came by to visit. She came a total of three times. After that I never heard another word from her. Even though she is an airhead I never could believe the things my other friend had been saying about her. She had always been honest and straight forward and she didn't seem to be crazy. Boy, I could have told her a few things.

I don't hate anyone who doesn't want to be my friend. I don't understand them but I don't hate them either. I wish everybody who was a friend of mine a long and happy life. I don't have to be a part of their lives and they certainly don't have to be a part of my life. I have lived without them for this long so it won't hurt me if they go on with their lives without me.

I don't expect anything more than what you can give. If you can give a part of yourself and want to share a part of me that is okay. But, if you find that I am still intolerable, that is okay, too.

AS ALWAYS

PIO
******
*Aliases were used.

Go Pam Go

I was fifteen years old when I learned to drive. Moma said I needed to learn to drive a stick shift before I learned to drive an automatic so she taught me how to drive her car. She had a 1959 Impala. When I got my learner's license she would let me drive on straight-aways so that I could get the feel of the car. Moma chided me for being a lead foot and tried to get me to keep it between the lines. We had a few close calls. When I had to stop for red lights on hills she jumped over next to me to keep the car from rolling back more than once. She accused me of making her hair turn grey.

What can I say? I was a wild child. I was driving a float! The Impala had wings and it was white. It was huge. I couldn't see well when I backed up and driving forward wasn't much better. But I loved driving. I would beg people to let me drive but nobody ever trusted me. I can't say I blame them.

I remember my cousins, Randy and Debbie, were at my house once and Moma said I could drive the Impala out to my grandmother's house which was two houses down. Randy lived in the house between my grandparents and me. We were all very close when we were young. I don't remember if we were supposed to bring a bowl or something to Beulah's house for Moma or why Moma agreed to let me take the car. I just remember that she told me to go out there and come right back. Debbie and Randy were going to ride to Beulah's with me.

We pulled out of the driveway and started to my grandmother Beulah's house. By the time we got to the drive way someone said something about taking the car down the road. Somebody else agreed with the idea. As the driver I made a split second decision to drive on down the road a piece. We were only going to go a little further and turn around. The trouble was, I began to be scared that I'd pull into somebody's driveway and not be able to back out fast enough and someone might hit us on one of the hills. Dug Gap is a very hilly road with lots of dips and curves. Some people use the road like a drag strip.

I kept driving further and further trying to find some place to turn around. I was sweating it because I knew we were going to be in trouble. Instead of a five minute trip I was headed to the end of Dug Gap. I got about two miles down the road before I finally turned around in somebody's drive way. Mailboxes were across the road from the drive way. I backed so close to the mailboxes that the slanted antenna bent straight up and snapped. Ah, busted. I was in deep crap now.

Any joy I may have felt in our little joyride was gone. Poof! I didn't know what was going to happen to Debbie and Randy but I had a pretty good idea what was going to happen to me. It wasn't a pretty picture. We headed towards home and drove to our grandmother's house. Maybe she could protect us.

I had to go home and tell Moma that I broke the antenna when I took the car. She was very mad at me for taking the car down the road without permission. She knew how mad Daddy would get. I don't know if he was more upset because I took the car or because I broke the antenna but Moma took the blame for me and told him she had let me take the car. She just didn't tell him she only meant to Beulah's house. I always hated putting Moma in that position.

My mother earned every one of those grey hairs. She earned half of them the day she tried to teach me how to pass. I had been riding a cars bumper when she told me that I should pass them. We were going north on Highway 41 up the steep grade near the Carmichael's.

I got up even with an old truck and started up that grade. I kept trying to get around them but couldn't get up enough speed. I was focused on passing the truck so hard that I didn't let up on the gas. Moma started getting so excited that she started yelling Go Pam Go, over and over again. I thought she was cheering me on. Moma was frantically banging on the dash yelling Go Pam Go when I realized she wasn't yelling Go Pam Go. She was yelling No! Pam! No!

I looked up and a semi truck had crested the hill and was barreling down directly towards us. The driver in the old truck wasn't giving an inch and I was about to kill us. My God! I let off the gas and fell in behind the vehicle. After Moma collected her nerves and new grey hairs she gave me a good lecture and told me she'd let my daddy teach me how to drive from now on.

Daddy drove a big green boxy Ford truck with a green plywood homemade camper on back. He decided to teach me the right way to pass somebody when we were going camping one time. We were on windy curvy roads and I didn't really want to practice there. He kept insisting until I pulled up alongside a vehicle. Daddy told me to speed up and pass them, then pull in front of them.

I did exactly what Daddy said but I didn't check my mirrors to be sure I was far enough ahead of them. I cut into their lane and nearly ran over them. Daddy got mad and started yelling at me about cutting people off. I had no idea about watching my mirrors and I couldn't even see out of those big ass truck mirrors. That's the day I decided I'd never pass anything unless they were really, really slow. Better that than me plowing into somebody.

AS ALWAYS

PIO

Old Friends

MELISSA

Melissa and Debbie and I were good friends while we were in school. After we graduated we went our separate ways. Debbie and I saw each other sometimes but we lost touch with Melissa until we started having class reunions. Debbie and Melissa have been encouraging me to have a girls night out once a month. I reluctantly go even though I don't like driving after dark. God, I feel old. We are trying to get to know each other again

PAM

I don't usually get to go out to eat so Debbie and Melissa and I have been taking turns picking restaurants to visit. My favorite is Red Lobster but we've also visited Little Rome and Chili's and Logan's Roadhouse. Debbie has taken Melissa and me to the theater. We saw Eat, Pray and Love, Easy A, Secretariat, and No Strings Attached.

DEBBIE

Debbie and I have a lot in common. We are "only children" so we have always felt a special bond. People never seem to understand that just because you don't have any brothers or sisters, it doesn't make being an only child wonderful. I've actually heard people say, "You are so lucky you don't have a brother," (or sister, or both). Yeah, right. Who do you think your parents are going to blame when something happens? You can't say, "I didn't do it." because they know it has to be YOU. You can't hide anything when you are an only child. I know.

AS ALWAYS

PIO

                                                     Now that Debbie and Melissa and I are older we are trying to rebuild our relationship and build a bond with old friends who know who we were before we became who we are today. Melissa and Debbie are kind and non-judgmental and supportive. It's nice to have old friends come back into your life.

Little Debbie's Tall Tale

I was sixteen years old when my parents bought me a car for my birthday. It was a used light green '67 Camaro. I was so proud to have my own car. I liked to load up the car with my cousins or my friends and cruise around downtown Dalton.

The summer I got my car, my two cousin's named Debbie got to come visit my grandmother. My cousin Debbie B and I were very close, because we were two of my grandmother's granddaughters. My other cousin Debbie G was our second cousin, my grandmother's neice. We weren't around her very often so we used that vacation to get to know each other better. She lived in Michigan. Both girls were fourteen years old.

Every time we would go some place Debbie and Debbie would argue about who should sit in the front bucket seat beside me. My cousin Donna went to the store or riding around with us, too, but they didn't let her sit up front. This went on for a while until I finally told them that Donna could start sitting up front because they never let her. The poor girls had to sit in the back seat of the Camaro. Those were not comfortable seats. Donna got to sit up front and could actually see what was happening. She was nine years old and wasn't very tall. She was so happy to have her turn.

We had a wonderful time together talking and visiting. Debbie G was a Catholic so my cousin Debbie B and I would ask her questions about being a Catholic. She taught us how to make the sign of the cross like Catholics. I had been doing it all wrong. She was fascinating, to me, partly because she was a yankee but partly because she was so talented. I also thought her accent was adorable.

Debbie G could sing like an angel. She sang one song so beautifully that I always got goosebumps listening to her. She sang "Why Does The World Go On Turning?". I think Skeeter Davis sang the original song. She would listen to the record over and over and over again, playing it on her little record player until she because perfect at singing it. She also listened to songs to learn to play the guitar. She was very talented.  Any time company came to Beulah's and PawPaw's, PawPaw made Debbie sing for them. She was a natural.

Debbie G told me she liked to sing because she wanted to make her daddy proud. She said that he wanted her to go to Nashville and the Grand Ole Opry someday. I couldn't imagine having such a big dream but I knew that Debbie G had enough talent to make it if she wanted to.

My grandmother let us sleep upstairs in her front bedroom. I can remember talking until dawn and the early morning mist rose dancing across the neighbor's lawn as daylight creeped in gradually. I remember talking about our lives and our loves and our dreams. I remember the hot, suffocating heat mixed with the smell of cedar, and a slight musty smell from all the quilts and bedding that hadn't been aired out for a long time. The upstairs at Beulah's was a treasure chest. There was no telling what you might discover in some nook or cranny. We were free to play and clean and snoop in drawers and chests and attic closets with endless dark spaces. We could play house or anything our minds could imagine.

One thing I remember clearly about one night was a confession Debbie G made to Debbie and me. She told us about her boyfriend, Butch, who was a soldier in Viet Nam. Butch was about five years older than she was. She said that when he got out of the army she wanted them to move to Georgia and live. She said she loved it here. Debbie told Beulah and anyone who would listen that she and Butch were engaged.

My grandmother had a habit of promising people in the family some land to build a house on. Beulah told Debbie G that she would give her and Butch an acre of land to build a house on when they got married. Debbie really believed her. Over the years, Beulah promised a lot of people land. She even told people she babysat for that she wanted them to live near her and would like to give them some land. I don't know why my grandmother said those things but people believed her. She never did give the land to anyone but her own children.

During that summer visit Debbie G opened up to Debbie B and me about her relationship with Butch. She told us that she and Butch were so much in love that they had eloped before he was shipped out to Viet Nam. She said they had gone to a justice of the peace and gotten married. She asked us not to tell anybody about it until after Butch got out of the army and came back home.

I couldn't believe that Debbie G was really married. How could somebody marry someone so young? I thought that Debbie G was making up stories. Although Debbie B and I questioned Debbie over and over again she stuck to her story.

Debbie G's father came back to pick her up and take her home. Debbie B and I didn't see her again for a very long time. I never told anyone in the family about Debbie G's claim because I thought she was lying and I didn't want to look like an ass because I believed her, which I didn't.

We learned that Butch was killed in Viet Nam when the truth came out. Debbie G's parents told my grandmother that two soldiers came to their house looking for Debbie G after Butch died. Debbie G had been the beneficiary on Butch's insurance and they came to give her the check. They said that she was the legal beneficiary because she and Butch had gotten married. That was when her parents found out about Debbie's marriage.

Although Debbie G was very young and only a child herself she proved herself to be very mature and honorable. Her parents told Beulah that Debbie G refused to accept Butch's life insurance and asked them to give the money to his parents instead. As incredible as Debbie's story was, it was true. Although she loved Butch with all her heart she showed more maturity and an open heart than anyone I can think of because she thought of his family instead of herself. That's amazing when you think about it.

AS ALWAYS'PIO

What Would You Do For Love?

Have you ever had a strange or traumatic experience and, when you retraced your steps, you thought you were crazy? It happened to me. I was 17 years old at the time.

My boyfriend was grounded one Sunday so I was riding around alone that afternoon. Gary and I had been talking about getting married. I decided I would go to some mobile home lots and check out some trailers. I went to several mobile home lots and noticed another couple that was always checking out trailers, too. We would wander through the trailers without any salesman to annoy us.

I left one lot and went to another one in Rocky Face. When I got there I started looking at the trailers and the decorations and appliances. I was enjoying myself when a man showed up and asked me if I was interested in buying a mobile home. I told him I was only looking but I was going to get married someday soon.

He kept talking to me and told me to come into his office so he could show me something. I went inside and he talked for a few minutes before he suddenly started getting creepy. He told me that his wife didn't satisfy him. (What about her needs?) He said that she didn't care if he had sex with other women as long as she didn't know about it. (I'll bet.) He asked me if I had ever had sex. (Uh, creepy.)

I was about to panic and I didn't know what to do. I had already realized that I was very stupid to be traipsing around without a companion and this man was scaring the hell out of me. I was trying to devise a way to get out of his office without him stopping me. Fortunately for me, the young couple who had been looking at trailers at the other lots finally showed up and he got up to go talk to them. I took that opportunity to get the hell out of there and thank my lucky stars the lady and gentleman showed up.

I berated myself for not realizing it was dangerous for a young woman to wander around alone. I went to my grandmother's house and told her about the weird man and how he had scared me. My grandmother told me not to tell my daddy about the man at the trailer lot. She said there was no telling what he would do if he found out. My daddy had a very bad temper. My grandfather told me everything would be okay, not to tell Daddy. Well. Okay. I can do that.

I went to school and told my friend, Debbie, about the dirty old man who had propositioned me. She said she didn't know which trailer lot I was talking about so I told her that we could ride up to Rocky Face and I would show her. There were several lots at that time. I sure wasn't going to stop.

After school Debbie and I rode up to Rocky Face and I went by the lot and it was empty! There wasn't a trailer there. They were all gone. I rode down to the empty lot and we got out of the car. I pointed to the area where the office had been and told her where I had parked my car and how lucky I was that the young couple showed up when they did. I told Debbie that I must be crazy or something because I don't know how everything just disappeared but it was there yesterday. I couldn't explain what happened. I swore I didn't lie but I don't know if she believed me. Would you believe me? I thought I was trapped in the Twilight Zone.

I went to my grandmother's house and told her about going up to the empty mobile home lot and how shocked I was that it was gone. Vanished. Poof!

That's when I learned the rest of the story. It seems PawPaw got in touch with a sheriff's deputy that was a friend of his and told him to go with him up to the trailer lot. PawPaw said that he and the officer went into the office to talk to the manager. PawPaw said they talked to the man and he denied everything. PawPaw said that he was going to ease around to the right side of the deputy and get his gun and shoot the bastard.

The deputy saw that PawPaw was trying to position himself and told the other man that PawPaw was a mean man and he had insulted his granddaughter. He made PawPaw back off. PawPaw told the man he would burn down every trailer there if he didn't get the hell out of there. The deputy told the man he better listen and not be messing with young girls again.

My grandmother said that the man had every trailer moved and that was why it was deserted when Debbie and I rode by there. Can you believe that? PawPaw was amazing. He made a whole mobile home lot move. Now, that's love!

AS ALWAYS

PIO

Lake Winnie

Picture courtesy of Paul Drabek at Negative-G www.Negative-G.com

. . . or why mothers eat their young.

Like grains of sand in an hour glass, these are the days of our lives.

For joy, for joy! Long before Disney World, and even long before Six Flags Over Georgia, way back in the beginning of the TV era when I was young . . . long, long ago there was only one main attraction for all the amusement ride lovers in our area and that place still stands today. That place is Lake Winnepesaukah. The place has been here for eighty-five years and it is far better to spend the day there and ride all the rides you want to, than to drive all the way to Atlanta and stand in the lines for hours waiting to ride only a few rides. I hate waiting in lines.

Lake Winnie is the place that a lot of people got their first kiss as they rode the boat chute through the Tunnel of Love. It was reputed to have snakes sleeping in the rafters which sometimes fell into the boats of the helpless victims below. That story always had to be related aloud to some young person who was taking his first ride on the boat chute. The spooky tunnel is at the beginning of the ride.

We had some good times up there. I remember one time when we were young that my cousins Randy and Debbie and I rode to Chattanooga in our great uncle Cletus' white Cadillac. He drove below the speed limit because he believed the sign that said "Keep off the median" meant to drive below the speed limit. We all argued with him that it didn't mean to drive that slow but he wouldn't listen. Old people. Sheesh!

We had a family reunion up there that day. They rented a pavillion and the table was covered with food from one end to the other. Naturally the kids all took off to ride the rides after we ate. We lined up to ride a ride that goes across the lake. Two people to a gondola allowed you to ride high above the lake and you can look down on the people below you riding paddle boats and see all around the park. It was really high. And the water down below looked really dark and uninviting.

Debbie and I were in line behind her brothers, Steve and Eddie, but we could still talk to them. As we started across the water it became obvious that they were starting to panic. Steve was afraid of the height and Eddie was afraid of falling in the water. They kept talking about jumping off because the ride turns around at the other side and rides you back across the lake before letting you off the ride. The turn around is next to electrical wires and equipment working the ride. There are signs posted all over the place with "Warning", and "Danger".

Debbie and I tried to talk them out of jumping but they were determined not to ride back across the lake. We saw them jump. They cleared the wires and hit the ground running. We were stunned. What dummies.

By the time we got off the ride security, in the amusement park, was looking for the two boys who bailed out across the lake. Debbie and I denied knowing them. The rest of us wandered off and tried to distance ourselves from the search. We all eventually got together again and found out that Steve and Eddie had been dodging security and thought they had ditched them. Whew, that was some adventure. You wouldn't believe that years later Eddie joined the Navy and Steve joined the Air Force.

I also remember Debbie and Randy and I were playing when Moma told me it was time to leave. I wanted to stay a little longer and tried to get her to let me ride back home with somebody else. She said "No" but Debbie and Randy and I decided to run away and she started chasing me. We started running around the bumper car shed and would dart in the opposite direction when we saw her coming. This went on for a while and we were laughing and having a good time until Moma tricked me and jumped out and grabbed me when we ran the wrong way.

Moma was shaking with rage, mad enough to kill me. She had me by the hair and began shaking me by the hair of the head. I was tiptoeing and trying to get away. She was furious as she got close to me and said, "I ought to whip you right here and now but I won't, I won't . . ." and then she suddenly leaned toward me and bit me hard on the cheek. She drug me off and told me I better not talk back to her. How could I? She might bite me again. Sometimes it's best to leave well enough alone so I did. It was time to go home.

She was mad because people were watching me and my cousins running away from her and not minding her. She said one old man was watching us and laughing and that really made her mad. Oh well, I guess I learned a lesson there, about minding your mother, especially if she bites.

AS ALWAYS

PIO

That's Shocking!

Back when I was growing up we didn't have much to play with. I had the most toys since I was an only child but when me and my cousins all got together we didn't need any stinking toys. We knew how to have a good time and we didn't have to have any store bought toys to while away the time.

We could always walk up and down the creek looking for rocks or minnows or we could run through the plowed fields searching for arrowheads. We would troupe through the woods hunting snakes or blackberries. Sometimes we even snuck up to the top of the hill to sit and smoke rabbit tobacco where we could see all around and make quick our escape in case we were ever spotted. Fortunately we never were.

The most dangerous and the most fascinating game we ever devised was when someone told us about the electric fence and how you could touch it. At first we would take turns running up to the fence with one eye on the fence charger and the red light which showed when the power was on. We would try to touch it before the electric current came back on. After tiring of such game sport we decided there had to be more fun to it than that.

I have to explain that the group consisted of me and my couisins: Randy, Debbie, Stevie and Eddie. Stevie and Eddie were Debbie's little brothers. We usually picked on Stevie and Eddie because they were the youngest and the dumbest in the bunch so we devised a new strategy. We had been taught that the current could run through anything touching it and into the ground. That's why it was our job to go around making sure that there wasn't any grass or weeds touching the fence and grounding it. The electric fence ran around the pasture that was used to keep the cattle in and was only a couple of feet high.

I don't know who got the brilliant idea of making a human chain but I bet it was Randy because he was always coming up with some bright idea. We all stood in a line and joined hands and swore not to break the chain. After a few tries we decided it would be best to put Stevie and Eddie on each end of the line. The one on the end of the line would grab a 55 gallon metal drum used for burning  garbage. The first one on the line would grab the electric fence. The current would come on and pulsate through us all and then flash back off.

While our hands were joined it was hard to break the current so we immediately began fighting and squirming to let go when the power was off. We wanted to get loose before the second jolt of electricity struck us. If the chain was ever broken the last kid standing who was in the line got the full force of the electricity running through them directly into the ground. We never let go if we could help it. You should have felt our sweaty hands and smelled the fear. We were in heaven!

We didn't just play with the electric fence one time and forget it. Each and every time we all got together we made sure to show our courage and sense of adventure by testing our strength and daring with the electric fence. We were united in blood and bonded by our bravery. We were invincible! We were kids.

I still treasure my memories of those times we so foolhardily risked electrocution although I know that the current couldn't kill us now. At the time I thought we were risking our lives. I still wonder who the heck gave us the bright idea of shocking ourselves. It seems to me it was PawPaw or Daddy or my uncle, Bob. Maybe all three. I just don't remember. And I wonder what their bright idea really was. Was it designed to intentionally kill us? Now that I have kids of my own, I wonder. Humm . . .

Debbie reminded me that we also put Stevie and Eddie up to peeing on the electric fence. She said that was the best part. No wonder I though little boys looked like Vienne-Wienies. I guess anybody would if they were being electrocuted.                



PIO