Let It Out

I spend way too much time on the internet, and way too much time on Facebook. I have a handful of friends who are funny and interesting who post topics that I've really enjoyed reading. I've met some awesome friends who are advocates for unwanted animals. Some new friends are anti-circumcision. Others are advocates for gay rights. Some friends are pro-south, and others are friends of friends. I have tried to mesh friends from different backgrounds and differing views because they all have valid points and interests. 

I love my friends. I love reading and discussing different subjects. At least, I did love it until a couple of my Facebook friends who post some interesting things got into it with each other.

I followed the entire conversation and saw when they started going off the rails. One friend (K) posted something and the other (M) took offense even though K wasn't talking to, or about, M. Then the one who felt offended said something about rethinking things, which to me implied that she was considering deleting the other person. My friend must have inferred the same thing because she unfriended the other person first. She said she didn't want to continue arguing with my other friend. 

I tried to be a mediator and suggested they both cool down but the damage was already done. Instead of letting this argument roll off their backs like water off ducks backs, they both took the extreme. I guess I can understand why she went ahead and deleted the other girl because she knew that the other girl was threatening to delete her. I just can't understand how two smart, funny and independent women can act like juveniles. 

My friend (K) who deleted the other one first hasn't made another peep about the other one on Facebook, but the other one (M) posted something making fun of my friend for 'unfriending' her. She posted something about 'someone on Facebook doesn't like me' but that's not true. K did like M but she began to believe that M was condescending. She didn't want to argue with her. K told me she didn't want to be the one causing trouble between M and me, and felt it was better to leave her alone. She said she didn't dislike, or hate her; she just didn't feel right arguing with my friend. (We're kin.)

From the very start I could see trouble because my friend K is very open minded and liberal and she has a very open heart. My friend M is jaded and disgusted with people she thinks are scamming the system. Oil and water, people. Oil and water. What saddens me is the fact that I've lost two of my most entertaining friends who I dearly loved conversing with and now, I feel, it's all about me.

I always thought I was the most contentious person on the planet. I could argue with a fence post if I thought it was wrong. Now I see it's a family streak and it's not only confined to one side of my family tree. It's on both sides! No wonder I'm so feisty and never back down from a good argument. The only difference I see is that one of the two people who were arguing with each other is a health care provider. You'd think that anyone who went to school to study psychology would be more open to another's point of view. You'd also think that they wouldn't smirk about losing a decent friend. I don't know. I guess everybody has more friends than I do because I cringe when I lose another friend. 

I don't always get along with my cousins, or my friends for that matter, but I certainly don't want to "banish them to the cornfield" (thanks Connie) just because we don't agree. It takes all kinds to make up the world. If we all got along and agreed it would be a very, very boring world.

I wish you all knew how it felt to lose every single friend you have and finally be alone and lonely. Then you would understand how important I think you all are. I wish you'd realize that everybody comes from different backgrounds and circumstances and will view things differently.

I might have been callous and insensitive to people if I had to deal with deadbeats and people with mental issues every day; or I might feel sympathy and understanding when someone has hit rock bottom and lost everything of value to them and are struggling to overcome their situation. Thank god I haven't lost everything and had to start over. Thank god I don't have to deal with certifiable nuts. There are plenty of 'free range' nuts around me already. If you can't feel compassion for people you consider lesser than yourself, you certainly can't understand or appreciate the struggles they go through. If you have to act like a thirteen year old girl when you disagree with someone, maybe you need to go back and review the thread that started this whole mess and reevaluate the situation.

If this offends you, go ahead and delete me, if you haven't already. If you want to act like an adult and admit that you both disappointed me, don't delete me. I like you both. Actually, I love you both, but I am too old for this crap and I hate, hate, hate it when friends argue.

M this started when you thought K said something to you about Obama. She was not talking to you. Read the thread. K, I wish you'd waited instead of deleting M but I can understand you were trying to take the gracious way out.

K contacted me and apologized for arguing with my cousin. M hasn't done anything except put another one of her 'cute' posts about, 'if you don't like it', blah, blah, blah.

Y'all have made me so sad.

AS ALWAYS

PIO

Ramblin

Hello! My name is Pam, and I am a blogger. A blogger is like an addict, who sits in front of a computer screen hours on end, thereby providing their social life. I have far more entertaining and stimulating friends than I could ever have met in person. My BF and BBF* list keeps getting longer, and longer. My real life, not so much. When I am on the internet, it doesn't matter if I sit down dressed to the tees, or in my jammies. Nobody cares. I can be scarfing down a plate of chimichanga's if I want to, and nobody will know. It is the ideal world. 

People are so much friendlier; places are so much more open, and ... tolerant. No, not tolerant. Vocal and contentious sometimes, but not always tolerant. I know, I'll just say more democratic and like a republic where people are able to vent their views and swap ideas. Sometimes they're even able to bridge a gap between people. and continents, and cultures, and languages, and find out that we are all basically the same. Aren't we? We want to feel safe, and able to afford food and clothing, and care for the ones we love. Or am I a dreamer? A Pollyanna who things everything will be alright and who always looks on the bright side? Nobody ever accused me of that.

Isn't the internet wonderful? I've met people from around the world. I was in awe of people who could speak English, however broken it sounded, until Colt reminded me that they could use an interpreter. Wow! Isn't the internet amazing? It's like we are all a part of a great community and not divided by race, creed, sex, or religion. We are all anonymous but we can interact with each other. 

I've become addicted to Facebook and following threads that people post. I've met a few wonderful people that way. I love it when anybody agrees with me. I live for the times when somebody disagrees. That's when the "meow" comes out. It's like catnip. "It's on!" as they say.

The other day I was following a thread about a doctor who posted something on the internet about a patient who was on medicaid. According to him, she had a gold tooth, several tattoos, and admitted to smoking at least a pack of cigarettes a day and even indulging in a few beers and pretzels. He was disgusted because the patient didn't have medical insurance. He thought that the patient should be putting their money towards medical insurance instead of personal indulgences. He made it clear that he looked down on people on medicaid and judged them for it. 

The doctor never mentioned why the patient came to see him, or even if he was able to treat them for their condition. I don't know if he even tried. He was more fixated on what he saw and the choices the patient made. 

I thought that, if the patient had a gold tooth, they probably had some money at one time because dentists will not put gold teeth in your mouth unless you're able to pay for them. The tattoos could have been obtained when they were younger and more affluent. Naturally, I imagined some old fart like me sitting there instead of some twenty-something young chick since the doctor made no reference to the age or illness of the patient. They may have hit hard times and ended up on medicaid. Or, give the devil his due, they could be milking the system. I don't know, but neither did the doctor. 

Who's to say the patient didn't have nice shoes and a fancy telephone because they bought them second hand? Lots of people are recycling everything on the internet nowadays.

I've seen plenty of people who could do better, and make better choices, but I still don't see what that has to do with treating a patient. I used to smoke cigarettes but made my mind up to quit smoking. I had three reasons to quit smoking. One, I broke out in a sweat and smelt like a nasty cigarette; two, I wanted to quit smoking before I got pregnant; three, was because of the waste of money. It literally went up in smoke. It is very hard to break a bad habit and people sniping at you and judging you doesn't help.

The doctor made a good case for the need for Obama care, indirectly, because he thought it was disgusting that the patient was on medicaid. If everyone in America has health coverage doctors will have to treat everybody, irregardless of being on medicaid. Many doctors refuse to accept patients on medicaid because of the paperwork and the hoops they have to jump through to get paid. They are never reimbursed fully for their service. That is why the good patients who pay their bills willingly have to help shoulder the burden of the doctor's expenses.

While I'm on this rant I might as well go on and add that I think it is way past time for the medical profession to go online and have some kind of national database to monitor patients and medications. This would be a good way to make sure patients aren't doctor shopping and monitor for fraud.

Like it or not, the health care system is going to be overhauled in 2013. Some people are acting like Chicken Little, running around and hollering, "The sky is falling!" Other people are thankful because the new laws guarantee that an insurance company can not drop them because of a preexisting condition. It is funny to me that some people despise people who are poor, and don't have insurance, but the only way you can afford insurance is if you have money.

We have insurance, but it's still very expensive to go to the doctor. I don't go very often. Donny has to go two times a year because he has high blood pressure. They take blood and run tests, and it costs a lot of money. Still, it's important that he takes care of himself. He is the breadwinner. His insurance doesn't cover our dental visits though. That's where all my medical money goes. I don't want to become toothless. So far, so good. 

I don't know how people can afford health care who are really sick. We can't even afford to use it. Health care, checkups, medicines, tests. If you ask me, I think the government should regulate the drug industry more closely and bring the price of drugs way down. Until the medical community changes we will all be at the mercy of the insurance companies and our medical providers.
Till then we've always got Edgewood Insurance. Oh, no!

* BF best friend,  BBF best, best friend 

***

This weeks new habit is punctuation. How am I doing?

AS ALWAYS

PIO