Old People

One day Scout called me from his cell phone to ask me if he had left his keys in Colt's car. I said I didn't know but I'd go check for him. It was about to come a storm. I ran out to the car and checked the passenger side in the front and back but couldn't find any keys. I looked between the seats and then went around to check the driver's side in the floorboard. Colt's and Scout's coolers were in the car but I didn't check them. I took Colt's cooler out so I could pour the water out and came back inside.


Colt had climbed in the shower and I was waiting on him to get out and check everywhere again before calling Scout back to tell him if we found them. Scout called me back to ask if I had found his keys and I told him I looked everywhere, even between the seats, and I couldn't find them. I told him I'd let him know if Colt found them and then I hung up. Colt finally got out of the shower and ran to the car to look for Scout's keys. I told him that Scout said they could be in the back seat or maybe they were in the back of Bob's truck.


Colt went outside to check. He couldn't find them. He came back inside with Scout's pink cooler. There weren't any keys in the cooler so I called Scout and told him we couldn't find his keys. Was he sure he had lost them there? Did he need them to drive his car? And did he need a ride to Bob's to look for his keys since we couldn't find his keys.


Scout finally told me he was looking for his SHOES, not his keys! That's when I knew I was deaf but, in my defense, he was talking on a crappy cell phone. His alarm on the cell phone didn't go off till 8 o'clock this morning. Yeah, it was the crappy cell phone's fault. That's right. Oh yeah. 


I bet Scout thought I'd lost my mind when I said I even looked between the seats for them.

Times like that slap you right back into reality and remind you how you are no longer the young person smirking at the poor old goofy person who couldn't hear and misunderstood everything. I am now that poor old goofy person that misunderstands things. I don't want to be that old fart. I want to be the hip, young, cool one. 

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Donny cleaned out our fenced in garden where the squash had been growing. He mowed down weeds and raked up debris. He only left a few pepper plants and a couple of vines running up two sides of the fence. One vine was growing five beautiful double bubble birdhouse gourds. The other vine on the opposite fence had loofah plants all over it. 

I was so excited and hoped they would survive. I wanted to dry them and use them. Everything was about halfway grown when I noticed someone had stolen the gourd growing outside of the fence wire. That had to be the horrible neighbors. I only had four gourds left.

Naturally, I went inside and told Don all about somebody pulling the gourd off the vine. I was mad for a couple of days but I still watered them and checked the vines every day.

I was outside one day in the yard and noticed the leaves on the loofah plant were wilted. It shouldn't have wilted that bad. I tried to water it until I saw it was cut! Don had cut it with the weedeater. I yelled at him for killing the entire plant. I couldn't believe he would do that since he knew they were there. Men!

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I have a little crock pot that I use to cook dry beans. The base is separate from the pot. I cooked some October beans one day but they weren't done by dinner so I put the little crock pot in the refrigerator for the next day. The next day I put the crock pot in the microwave to warm the beans. I was going to put it back in the base to keep them warm until I fixed dinner.

I needed to run to the dollar store to get a couple of things for dinner so I told my husband that the beans were in the microwave. He was getting ready to take a bath, but I stressed that the bowl was in the microwave. All I wanted him to do was put the beans in the (base of the) crock pot after they were heated. I ran to get pet food and salmon.

When i came back home I unloaded the car and started to cook supper. I looked over at the crock pot and saw the white crock wasn't in the base. I looked in the microwave but they weren't there. I saw the crock pot sitting on my butcher's block but it was empty. Don had dumped the crock pot of beans into the base of the crock pot. I flipped out. Old people!

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I've decided this is the way to let off steam. Rather than rant and rave I'd be much better off just blogging about it. Nobody listens anyway and Donny and I are both deaf so it doesn't do any good to yell. He doesn't even listen when I'm not yelling.

AS ALWAYS

PIO