Granny Edwadene

This is a picture of my mother-in-law. Her name is Edwadene but we all call her Ed. When I first met Ed she was married to Donny's daddy, Strick. He had emphysema and was disabled. Edwadene worked in the sample carpet mills. She and Strick worked for the telephone company when they first met. Ed was an operator and Strick worked on the lines. 

Edwadene loved flea markets and had a station wagon piled high with goods she would carry to sell every week. 

Edwadene was a wonderful cook. She is the only person I ever knew who cooked almost like my grandmother, and I always thought my grandmother was the best cook in the world. Edwadene had one advantage over my grandmother. She knew how to make the best yeast rolls I've ever eaten. They were delicious.

After Donny's daddy died of a heart attack, Edwadene was a widow for a long time. A lady she worked with tried to set Edwadene up with her father-in-law who was a widower. Edwadene didn't know how to act at first. She was flattered but thought Charlie was too old for her. She said he was an old man. I guess, because he was grey headed. That was funny because Edwadene was grey, too.

Before long Edwadene and Charlie got married and combined their families. They worked very hard to try to include everyone and make us all one big family. Charlie insisted we all go camping and fishing at Harrison Bay. We made that a family tradition for several years. Everybody had a good time the first year. There were tents and campers set up everywhere. 

Charlie's daughter, Teresa, was married to Jackie Amos. They had a little tent that was set up near the campfire. In the morning everyone was standing around the fire discussing what they wanted to do that day ... fishing ... when the little tent started shaking violently. Jackie and Teresa were 'getting it on' with everyone standing around the campfire. Nobody could mistake what the shaking was all about. After a little bit, the tent quit shaking, and Jackie and Teresa crawled outside. Oh, well. That was entertaining.

Over the years, the Strickland family kept going fishing with Charlie and Edwadene. Charlie's family would come to Harrison Bay, too, but didn't always camp with us. Charlie's daughter, Deborah, and her husband, Billy, usually camped near Billy's family who loved to go to Harrison Bay every summer at the same time. They loved fishing when the catfish ran. 

Myra, and Donny, and Tony always came camping every summer. One summer Tony got sick and had a heart attack. After that he wasn't interested in camping any more. After Charlie died, Donny took our family camping but it wasn't as fun as it had been with the Strickland and the McAllister clans camping together.

Edwadene sold her house and bought a condominium after Charlie passed away. Her mother, Granny Smith, lived with her for a while but she had to be put in a nursing home because of dementia. Not long after Granny Smith died, Edwadene started losing her memory and her eye sight.

Edwadene lived with her son, Tony, for a while and she stayed with us sometimes. I think it was good for her to be here because she got to know me better. One time she said she thought I was mean to the boys and didn't love them but, after staying with us for a while, she realized I didn't feel that way. 

I talk rough to the boys and chew them out when they make mistakes but I also always tell them how much I love them and how much they mean to me. I don't know any other way to be. I am not a good mother. I do yell at them and say mean things sometimes but, for some reason, my boys are fine young men and anybody who knows them will tell you that.

Edwadene lived in an assisted living home until her memory deteriorated so much she had to be moved into a nursing home. I would go by to see her sometimes and she would be slumped over in her chair asleep, or in bed asleep. She couldn't communicate with anyone any more and she lived in a fog in her own mind.

Alzheimer's is a terrible disease that robs you of your identity and dignity. Edwadene suffered from it for over thirteen years. Looking back, I suspect she had it for years before that. She used to say she couldn't think straight. I thought she was just being insecure but now I think she had been having symptoms of Alzheimer's a lot longer than she was diagnosed.

Edwadene passed away last Sunday. She was 83. Her family and loved ones came together to honor and pay respect to the woman she was. She was a loving mother and wife. She cared about her family and friends and never had an unkind word to say about anyone. She was a good woman.

I am sorry she passed away and I know it is painful for her family to say goodbye but I am also happy that she isn't suffering anymore. She no longer has to live in a dark fog of blindness and dementia. It is so painful seeing someone you love in that condition.

Edwadene was always nice to me and I grew to really love her over the years. I admired Edwadene for her honesty and goodness and cheerful spirit. She will be deeply missed.

AS ALWAYS

PIO  

Harrison Bay

Harrison Bay, in Tennessee, is a beautiful place to go fishing and camping in the summer. The park looks much the same as it did when I was a child the year my momma decided to go water skiing. My aunt, Jonnie Bell, and her husband, Robert, owned a boat. They met Momma and Daddy at the lake. After they showed my parents how to water ski they talked Momma into trying it. Momma was afraid she would drown so she bid me a tearful goodbye and I wished her luck. Robert kept telling her that if she fell down she needed to let go of the rope and she would resurface. Momma wore a life jacket because she couldn't swim.


Momma took her teeth out and handed them to Daddy for safekeeping. She said she didn't want to lose them if she drowned. She squatted down and leaned back as my uncle pushed the throttle and gave the engine gas. She came up kind of wobbly but she lost her balance and began churning through the water face first. She was holding on for dear life to the rope. She thought she was going to drown and she couldn't think straight. She said she would have drowned but the rope had twisted in a knot and pinched her finger causing her to remember what Robert had said, "Let go of the rope!" When she let go of the rope she was finally able to surface and breathe again. Robert brought her back to the bank where she was able to wade out of the water and give me a tearful hug and thank her lucky stars she was alive. 


Daddy got to take his turn water skiing and he came up out of the water like a pro. He skied around the lake until he fell into the water. As Robert circled around to come back and pick him up Daddy realized he could stand up in the middle of the lake. There was a sandbar underneath the lake and he happened to land on it. Daddy was able to start skiing again from the middle of the lake and came back to the bank, sliding over the water like a water bug until he got out. I was too little to water ski so I got to watch the excitement from the sidelines.


When Donny and I got married we went camping sometimes at Carter's Lake. We didn't start camping at Harrison Bay until Donny's momma, Edwadene, got remarried to Charlie McAllister. They were both widowed. Charlie's daughter-in-law worked with Donny's momma and introduced them.


Edwadene didn't like Charlie at first. She called him "that old man". I think she thought he was too old for her. Charlie was gray headed and big and burly. He had a smokers squint. Charlie set out to win Edwadene over with stuffed animals and presents. He was outgoing and friendly. Before long nearly everyone in the family liked him. Charlie convinced Edwadene to marry him.


Charlie loved to go fishing and camping at Harrison Bay. His family went up there every year for a week during the fourth of July. He wanted Edwadene to get her children to go camping with his family so that we could all get to know each other. 


Charlie's daughters, Deborah and Teresa, went camping with their families and friends. Deborah and Teresa's kids were close to the age of Tony's kids so they made friends quickly. Everybody had fun fishing and swimming and camping around the lake. 


We finally started camping on the campgrounds because of the convenience of having fresh water and a shower close by. Edwadene and Charlie had a huge camper that they set up close to the lake so that Charlie could keep an eye on his boat. The kids ran from one camp site to another playing with one another. 


Colt and Scout had been running around with the other kids. Colt was running around barefoot and stepped on a fish hook. He started screaming. Scout tried to help him but saw he couldn't get the hook out. He started dragging Colt, with one foot on the ground hopping, towards us. Colt was screaming and Scout was yelling that Colt needed help. Donny got some pliers and worked the hook out of Colt's foot. Colt was alright but he learned not to run around without shoes any more.


Charlie's family was very outgoing and close to each other. Part of the reason for that may have been because Charlie lost his wife and his son in the same year and he had been deeply depressed until he met Edwadene. They all wanted their daddy to be happy. But the biggest reason it was fun to be around Charlie and his family was because they were genuinely nice people. They really did love each other and look on the sunny side of life. Even with all their troubles they were happy.  


We had lots of fun when we went camping together. I think I got to know and like Donny's family better because we all got together and bonded. Until Charlie came into the Strickland's life I didn't know how much fun they could be. Tony was always joking around and entertaining everyone. Myra kept the kids busy and took them to the swimming pool. The boys chased snakes and looked for turtles. Time spent around the campfire was the best. Some primitive instinct must link us all by our fascination with fire.


The highlight of the camping trip for the men was the fishing. Charlie taught everyone about jug fishing. He had plastic pepsi bottles spray painted neon orange with a string tied to the neck and a fish hook on the end of the string. At night the men gathered around and cut up chunks of brim to bait the hooks. They wrapped the string around the bottle with the fish attached and put them in a black trashbag until it was full of jugs with bait. Charlie made up about a hundred jugs and then went out into the current to drop the jugs late at night. He would get up again early in the morning to go pull the jugs in. The  boys said that was the best part. They loved pulling the huge catfish into the boat and looking for more jugs on the water.

I miss the good old days when we all went camping together.

PIO
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