I'm a Caregiver

Here it is half past November and I'm falling down on the job again but I've been busy, with an excuse. Mama and Mary are sick and I have to fetch and carry for them. 

Last night Mama called me and told me she couldn't get Mary to bed. I went up there to help.

I had to call in reinforcements to help get Mary to bed. She was dead weight. She had a fever and wasn't able to walk. It scared the crap out of me so I stayed all night and I could hear Mary muttering to herself in her sleep. Today she woke up and didn't remember a thing. I don't know if we'd dosed her too much for the flu or her fever made her delirious. I only know I don't want that to happen again.

I am the 'caregiver'. I took a stupid Facebook quiz and that's what it said. I thought, "How the hell did a test know that?" I'm not a big huggy, feely kind of gal and I'm not suited for the job. In fact, I'm clueless.

For example, I took the oxygen hose in the sunroom for Mama and forgot to turn it on. She said she'd been checking her oxygen for a while and it never got out of the 80's until she figured out it wasn't turned on. Way to go, dummy! I told you I was clueless.

I hope everybody recuperates before Thanksgiving. 

I was making my dinner list when Mama called. I've decided to make a ham and turkey. We're having dinner here this year. I don't know who all will show up but I plan on making my favorite things.

Mama taught me how to make potato salad and deviled eggs years ago and everybody seems to love them. I also make some pretty good dressing. Mama usually makes giblet gravy with turkey drippings, if I ask her to.

Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays. I think I love it because of the endless supply of food and family camaraderie. 

Unlike years past, Thanksgiving is just a reminder that there is one less seat at the table again this year. Now when I see Black Friday advertisements it makes me sad. Daddy died on Black Friday but he did spend one last bittersweet Thanksgiving with us all that year.

November is a sad month but it's also a happy month. I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving this year. I can hardly wait.

BIG SURPRISE COMING SOON

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Samantha, Dawn, and Larry

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY
~Mama and Daddy~

RIP
Albert Silver, Charlie McAllister, Edwadene McAllister, 
Delbert Callahan, Crick Marshall, Frances Causby, 
and Roy Burchfield

REMEMBER

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

AS ALWAYS

PIO

PBS 11-15-15 Sunday  8:10 PM EST

AUGUST

This has been a busy and exciting summer and it's been a dull, and uneventful summer. I guess you can have both kinds. Right now my aunt Mary is visiting my mamma and keeping her company.

I've been mowing our yard and my mother's yard all summer. Recently Mama got all bent out of shape because I left grass clipping and decided to take over. She made Donny put the baggers on the riding mower and mowed. It takes a couple of hours to mow it all in ninety degrees heat.

A couple of days later Mamma told me she didn't feel good. Well, no wonder! An eighty-six year old woman with congestive heart failure shouldn't be mowing the damn yard. She doesn't listen to me though. I wish she'd quit doing that. I'm afraid she'll hurt herself.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Ashley, Tommie Lyn, Pat, Pam, Myra, Nancy, Nancy, Brenda, Chris, Randy, 

Jonnie Bell, Gloria, Blake, Bob, Justin, Cole, Jerry

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY
Susan and Bob

RIP

REMEMBER

Back to School Time

AS ALWAYS

PIO

PBS 8-7-15 Friday 12:26 AM EDT

MAY

Whew! Nobody told me getting older was going to be so hard. If they had of told me I'd have tried harder not to get old. 

It's always something. Right now I am transitioning from constant caregiver to part-time homebody. I get so distracted when I'm not on my own schedule that I forget to keep up with my bills and laundry. Needless to say, I get behind.

Things have "flipped" again, in my life. My baby boy, the Coltman, has flown the coop. He moved out on his own. Yeah, now Donny and I are empty-nesters. Colt is working in Atlanta full time now. What to do, what to do?

*******

Between running up to Dalton every day to check on Momma or Bennett I don't have much time to do everything that needs to be done around here. I have literally a mountain of junk piled in Scout's room that I've accumulated since he's been gone. Now I'm sorting through Colt's room moving stuff around trying to figure out what I should do in there. It's a mess.

I think I am psychosomatic. I probably suffer from ablutophobia or possibly disposophobia. I collect things. Things ordinary people would trash. For example, I have an overabundance of plastic meat containers with lids that sandwich meat comes in. I took a stack of them to the Christmas dinner with Donny's family so everyone could get leftovers to take home last year. It impressed my sisters-in-law. I don't know why I haven't thought of using them like that and depleting my reserves before. 

*****

I promised to keep Mamma's yard mowed and, between Scout and me, it's looking pretty good. I went to mow Saturday. Colt was loading the truck up with spare furniture he salvaged from Momma to take to his trailer.

Jason and Hanna were there with their little boy, Tristan. Jason is Scout and Colt's oldest friend. He and Hanna are expecting their second child soon. They're having a little girl. Tristan is a doll so I know the baby will be, too.

Another white car was sitting in the driveway when I drove up but I didn't pay attention. I finally heard Katie say something about Joann and asked her what she was talking about. She said, "Joann is over there," pointing at the white car. I had totally blown by her and didn't even notice.

To tell the truth, I really didn't think about Joann being there. She's not supposed to drive and I never thought about her getting her friends to bring her by the house.

She said they rode by my house, but figured I was sleeping and didn't stop. Mind you, it was going on noon by the time I got to Mamma's house. Oh Joann sure is a kidder. 

She had Nancy and her friend Sandra with her. Sandra is a truck driver. She's about my age. 

We had a full house Saturday. Not only were Jason and Joann there but my aunt Mary was visiting with my momma. She had been visiting for a while. Mary lives in Savannah with her son now. We love it when her daughter-in-law, Tonia, brings her for a visit. Mary went back home on Sunday.

I was hoping Momma and Mary and I could do some things together but Momma didn't want to socialize. Mary kept herself entertained reading a paperback and chain smoking. 

Thankfully, Mamma's church family fixed them several meals and brought them to Mamma's house. They are excellent cooks, especially Shirley, the preacher's wife. They're good people.

*****

Burger's Market is open again this season so I got a beautiful tri-colored pink mandevilla plant and gave it to Momma for Mother's Day. I bought myself two different kinds of ferns. I love them. They give any house a southern vibe.

Poor Donny has to tend to our yard alone. Nobody else is ever around to help him. I've started doing my part by tying the goat out so she can eat some of our overgrown spots. Bonnie acts like she's always starving so it's a win-win for all of us. Well, all of us except Buddy. He got off on the wrong foot with the goat and she doesn't like him at all.

Now Buddy cowers in fear when the goat gets on a tear and decides she wants to butt him. Oh well. Live and learn, I always say. Maybe next time he'll be a little nicer when he meets a goat.

*****

I'm becoming cautiously optimist that this might turn out to be an awesome summer. Here's hoping. 

Bless you all as you go about your daily struggles. We all have our crosses to bear. Just think "this, too, shall pass" and carry on. I love you all, even when I'm being a bitch sometimes.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Rachel, Steve, Connie, Maranda, Nita, Junior, and Madison

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

REMEMBER

Edwadene McAllister, Grampaw Carter, Ev Chastain

RIP

Vivian

AS ALWAYS

PIO

SEPTEMBER

Well! Color me confused. I tried to call my doctor to make an appointment but kept getting a busy signal on Friday. I tried over the weekend and got another busy signal. I was becoming obsessed with trying to reach the doctor so I tried to call him again on Monday. I had finally surmised that there was something wrong with this picture because I've never called a doctor's office after hours without reaching their answering service. Today it all came together. The doctor has retired and left me in the dark. Now, where will I turn? I don't like breaking in a new doctor. They make me nervous. Frankly, I don't even like doctors. You can imagine why after the year I had.

*********************

Mama's sister, Mary Jane came to visit with her all last week. She is a joy to be around. Mary's been living in Savannah with her son, Alex, and his family. Mama invited Mary to stay with her until my aunt, Patsy, could come get her. She's going to stay with Patsy in Illinois for a while. I think Mary was good company for Mama, and vice versa. My cousin, Donna, came to get her. They headed back north this morning.

Mary Jane had intended to fly out from Atlanta to visit Pat a couple of months ago but she got confused and never got on the plane. Mary is developing dementia. Mary didn't worry about missing her plane because the flight staff took her under their wing and invited her to their private lounge and took care of her. She was supposed to be supervised by the airline so they probably worried about getting in trouble for not getting her on her right flight. Her son had to drive all the way back to Atlanta to pick her back up.

Mary had such a good time she promised to come visit them all whenever she came back to Atlanta. She wasn't even depressed about missing her flight.

If you didn't know Mary Jane you wouldn't know anything was wrong with her but her memory is not good any longer. She's a big cut up and enjoys being around people. Her mistake was almost as good as a vacation.

********************

I finally talked the guys into putting up guttering on the front of the house.
We bought the guttering Saturday and they had it up on Sunday. Not bad for a project we've put off for years, I'd say. The fascia board on the back of the house has to be cleaned and then they can finish the job. I'm almost embarrassed to admit I wish it would rain. I can't wait to test them out.

********************

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Butch, Katy, Kim, Susan, Carol, Larry, Corbin, Gail, Melissa, Melody, Erin, Emily, Debbie, and Jesse

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY
Resaca Rose

RIP

Gary McNamer, Robert Burchfield, Jack Rat

REMEMBER

Labor Day, Rosh Hashanah*, Autumn

*Rosh Hashanah: Jewish New Year, 24-26th

AS ALWAYS
PIO

PBS 9-9-14 Tuesday 12:34 A.M. EDT

MAY

Have you ever seen those commercials where the old lady is laying in the floor hollering, "Help! I've fallen and I can't get up?" I always admonish my mama to keep her cellphone on her so she won't be helpless like that old woman on TV. I'm glad she listened.

I got a call last Sunday. Katie told me to get to Mama's house right away. She had fallen. Mama tried to call us but couldn't get anyone. Scout found her and called 911. We rushed up there in time to see her being loaded into an ambulance. They took Mama to the hospital to examine her. She broke her leg.

The doctor couldn't do surgery right away because she takes blood thinner medicine. They finally did surgery on Monday and the doctor inserted a long metal rod in her thigh bone. 

Mama spent several days in SICU* until they finally moved her to a private room. She sounded coherent when she was in SICU but began to sound unclear later on. I stayed with her most of the time at the hospital because she didn't need to be alone. 

It took a while for them to regulate her oxygen level and heartbeat. She began to get feisty and kept wanting to get up. She couldn't stand laying in bed any longer. Her doctor released her to go to rehab today. I'm glad because she wasn't in any shape to go home alone yet. I'd make some lame joke about my mama going to rehab if it wasn't so sad. I hate seeing her so helpless.

Everybody was concerned about Mama. Aunt Jonnie and my uncle, Robert, drove down from Chattanooga to check on her a couple of times. We went to the Oakwood Cafe for dinner while Mama was in surgery.

Patsy sent Mama some flowers in the hospital because she couldn't be there. She moved back to Illinois recently. Mary Jane had moved back to Savannah a couple of months ago to be with her son so Patsy thought it was time to move closer to Donna and Butch.

It seems like we have lost so many people we love in one way or another. I counted and I've been to four funerals since Thanksgiving. Daddy and his sister, Vivian, passed away six weeks apart. Then Scout's fiance, Katie, lost her father three weeks later. Two weeks after that, Daddy's best friend, Gordon, lost his battle with cancer. 

Since November we have lost four loved ones and Donny had a quadruple bypass. To say we are up against the wall is an understatement. I was finally glad Donny was released to go back to work and thought things were improving until Mama slipped and fell. 

I felt like we were under a stormy cloud and hoped things wouldn't get worse but they did. 

A friend of mine who is on Facebook contacted me and told me that her husband had a heart attack and they weren't able to save him. I was shocked and devastated because he was a good friend of mine, too. I've known him most of my life. Steve was four years younger than me. I couldn't believe it. I went to the funeral home to pay my respects to his family today.

It seems like when it rains, it pours. It breaks my heart that my friends and family are passing away. There are so many wonderful people that used to be in my life that are now gone. I miss them so much and I wonder if things will ever be normal again. I doubt it. Nothing's ever the same after you lose someone. I only hope all our luck improves soon.

*surgical intensive care unit

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Rachel, Steve, Connie, Maranda, Vivian, Nita, Junior, and Madison

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

RIP

Edwadene McAllister, Grampaw Carter, Ev Chastain

REMEMBER

Mother's Day, Armed Forces Day, Memorial Day

AS ALWAY

PIO

JULY

My, this is a different fourth of July than last year. Last year I was soaking in my kiddie pool in the blazing heat. This year I'm just getting soaked. The news prognosticators predicted flooding everywhere. I was worried to death because we had to go to Marietta the other day to deal with Colt's apartment management. They want us to pay two more months rent. Never, ever sign a contract without reading every word. We were lucky because the rain wasn't as bad as it is today. 

The boys and I went to Mama's and Daddy's house for a cookout today. We had a quiet little family dinner. After the barbecue their friends, the Sosebee's, came to visit. My two aunts, Patsy and Mary, were going to come eat with us, but they decided not to because of the rainy weather.

Don promised me and the boys that we would go to White Water in Marietta on Friday but it looks like it's going to rain again. Too bad. I've never been to the water park and was looking forward to floating around in a stream all day in the sun. All I'd need is a pair of cheap sunglasses and a Margarita with a little  umbrella in it. 

Don has the sump pump turned on. I can hear the beep, beep, beep, beep sound. It's driving me crazy. It's like water torture! You can imagine how much water is standing under the house.


I think it's time to start building that ark. Don't you? Stay dry.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Krista, Jeremy,Darrel, Athena, Connie, Jennifer, Christy, Nathan, Madison, Holly, Coven, Tristan, Evitt, Tillie

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

REMEMBER

Independence Day

RIP

AS ALWAYS
PIO

What's Cooking

We had another cookout last weekend at my parents house. Daddy likes to celebrate Momma's birthday with a cookout every year. I think he likes having company. 

Scout, and Kim, and Layla were on vacation in Panama City so they didn't get to come but Donny, and Colt, and I were there. My two aunts were invited so they came. They had been at the Memorial Day cookout, too. 

I am so happy that Mary and Patsy live in Tennessee and are close enough to come visit often. They are such a delight to be around. They never meet a stranger, and are always cheerful, and uplifting. Every time we are together is a blessing. My aunt, Jonnie Bell, was invited to the cookout but she has lots of health problems and doesn't feel like getting out much anymore. She lives in Chattanooga. It was a very small celebration.

Patsy made a delicious butterscotch pie, and Mary made a yummy lemon meringue pie. I brought a carrot cake with cream cheese icing. Theirs were from-scratch. Mine came from a box. (I say, "Thank ye' aunt Betty. You know Betty don't you? Betty Crocker.") We had plenty of sweets. 

Momma didn't feel very good so she didn't do much. I put the hamburgers on the grill and watched them for a while. Momma brought a bowl out to put the hamburgers and hot dogs on and we went inside into the air conditioning to eat. 

Momma hasn't been out of the hospital long. She has pneumonia. I don't know how long it takes to get over that. She doesn't have any energy and can't breathe well.

Daddy's not much better. He's had heart surgery and stints put in so he huffs and puffs when he is outside in the heat. He didn't use to be like that. When he was young he was a dock worker. He lifted and moved freight all day or night long. He was in good shape. After he retired he didn't exercise and he eventually developed heart disease.

Although there weren't as many people at Momma's birthday party this year as last year, it was a very nice cookout. Everybody pitched in to straighten up and help Momma. It was just family, and just family is just fine. She really should be resting more than she is though. She needs to get well and that's the only thing they recommend when you have pneumonia.


Instead of having a cookout I had offered to cook a turkey and dressing but Momma said that Daddy didn't want turkey. It was the wrong time of year. What the heck? Is there any wrong time for turkey? I don't know. I just thought it would be easier on Momma if I cooked the turkey and brought it to their house. Momma said I could cook the hamburgers and that would help. Well, alright, but I still wanted turkey and dressing after I got to thinking about it. So did Colt.

I had a whole turkey in my freezer. I also had a whole chicken in there. Since Daddy didn't want to eat turkey for Momma's birthday I'd fix something for Colt's birthday. It was coming up. I decided to thaw out the chicken and cook a special birthday dinner for just the three of us, Colt and Don and me. We had dinner Tuesday evening and it was delicious if I do say so myself. I asked Colt what he would like with his chicken and dressing and he asked for macaroni and cheese. Okay, I figured I can do that. I cooked elbow macaroni, and then drained it,  and added a little milk to melt Velveeta cheese in the saucepan on the stove top. I make pretty good macaroni.

Everything was delicious. I had two containers of turkey juice in the freezer that I thawed in the microwave and poured over the crumbled up cornbread. I added a little bit of sage and salt and pepper and tasted it until I got it salty enough. I had added a little water to make it moist enough so I used chicken bouillon to make it more flavorful and salty. It's good to taste test every now and then so it's not too flat or too salty. Every now and then I get everything right. Colts special dinner turned out alright.


Two birthday parties in four days ... This is going to be a great summer.

AS ALWAYS

PIO